Thursday, November 6, 2008
dear first home.
The time has come.
Time to start packing boxes & emptying drawers...taking down pictures & mirrors & memories. The frames I made G hang above our dresser. He spent hours perfecting them. Straightening & fixing their edges, a tweak here, a nail there. Until they were perfect. Because he loves me. Because he loves you.
I will remember your fireplace. The one that takes real logs, not gas ones. And the Christmas I invited all of my girlfriends over for dinner & presents. We sat underneath your warm glow & listened to the crackle, crackle, pop of the flames. I will remember the snow falling softly all around us & how I'd never felt cozier.
I will miss your warmth. Your soft carpet. The carpet we chose for you. I remember laying on it when it was first delivered. I will remember the smell of the fresh paint and the sound of the hammer against the wall. I will remember how hard my G worked to make you ours.
I will miss your grand windows. The ones made up with charm & character. I spent hours looking out them, down Beverly street. Or laying underneath them, lost in a book. I remember the first time I met you, home, how much I loved those windows.
I will remember moving into you for the first time. Married not even a year. I will remember unpacking boxes & never being more excited. Helping G assemble Ikea furniture & hang what little art we had. I will remember how it felt to buy a home, the excitement & the rush and I will remember how truly blessed we felt to be able to do so.
I will remember the nights we played scrabble in the basement together. The hours I spent in the kitchen. The kitchen where I learned to bake and tried to cook. Frosted my first cake & made my first homemade macaroni & cheese (it was awful, by the way).
The kitchen where I made G my favorite meals and they became our favorite meals.
I will remember our first anniversary here. Where we ate our wedding cake at midnight & toasted to the future. I will remember all the times we scribbled messages to each other on the stainless steel cabinets. Leaving a note for the other to find, when our schedules overlapped & a note was all we had time for.
I will remember you fondly because you helped shape us into a family. Because we grew inside these walls. Because you taught me responsibility & sacrifice. Because owning a home taught us valuable lessons, ones that we will never forget. Because despite everything, you made me feel safe.
You will always be our first home. There will never be another. And I doubt we will ever live in such a charming house again. One where apples fall in autumn, and roses bloom in the backyard. With sunlight through the windows and arched ceilings and doors. A breakfast nook & a laundry shoot. All the details that so many homes miss these days. I will miss all of your details.
Our visit with you was short. Shorter than we'd hoped it would be. But they say you never forget your first home, and quite honestly, I don't see how I ever could.
I love you, first home. Thanks for the memories.