Thursday, November 6, 2008

dear first home.


The time has come.

Time to start packing boxes & emptying drawers...taking down pictures & mirrors & memories. The frames I made G hang above our dresser. He spent hours perfecting them. Straightening & fixing their edges, a tweak here, a nail there. Until they were perfect. Because he loves me. Because he loves you.

I will remember your fireplace. The one that takes real logs, not gas ones. And the Christmas I invited all of my girlfriends over for dinner & presents. We sat underneath your warm glow & listened to the crackle, crackle, pop of the flames. I will remember the snow falling softly all around us & how I'd never felt cozier.

I will miss your warmth. Your soft carpet. The carpet we chose for you. I remember laying on it when it was first delivered. I will remember the smell of the fresh paint and the sound of the hammer against the wall. I will remember how hard my G worked to make you ours.

I will miss your grand windows. The ones made up with charm & character. I spent hours looking out them, down Beverly street. Or laying underneath them, lost in a book. I remember the first time I met you, home, how much I loved those windows.

I will remember moving into you for the first time. Married not even a year. I will remember unpacking boxes & never being more excited. Helping G assemble Ikea furniture & hang what little art we had. I will remember how it felt to buy a home, the excitement & the rush and I will remember how truly blessed we felt to be able to do so.

I will remember the nights we played scrabble in the basement together. The hours I spent in the kitchen. The kitchen where I learned to bake and tried to cook. Frosted my first cake & made my first homemade macaroni & cheese (it was awful, by the way).

The kitchen where I made G my favorite meals and they became our favorite meals.

I will remember our first anniversary here. Where we ate our wedding cake at midnight & toasted to the future. I will remember all the times we scribbled messages to each other on the stainless steel cabinets. Leaving a note for the other to find, when our schedules overlapped & a note was all we had time for.

I will remember you fondly because you helped shape us into a family. Because we grew inside these walls. Because you taught me responsibility & sacrifice. Because owning a home taught us valuable lessons, ones that we will never forget. Because despite everything, you made me feel safe.

You will always be our first home. There will never be another. And I doubt we will ever live in such a charming house again. One where apples fall in autumn, and roses bloom in the backyard. With sunlight through the windows and arched ceilings and doors. A breakfast nook & a laundry shoot. All the details that so many homes miss these days. I will miss all of your details.

Our visit with you was short. Shorter than we'd hoped it would be. But they say you never forget your first home, and quite honestly, I don't see how I ever could.

I love you, first home. Thanks for the memories.

9 comments:

  1. well im gonna miss that stinking cute home!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh the memories... i love your first home. I will never forget it just as you. Call us when you need help cause we would love to come up nd help. Love you Jmo mizzle!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That post made me a little sad too. I have loved going over there, but not because of the house, because of you and G!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Is it wierd that I honestly got a little teary eyed reading that? Maybe because not many girls our age will ever know what it is like to truly live in a fairytale dollhouse like we did. Where there was history in the 1950's, where some other little couple probably lived and did all the fun things we were doing when we lived there. I miss Sugarhouse and my little dollhouse, but its fun to move on to new experiences! I bawled the last time I shut the door! Good Luck Jess! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've said it before, and I'll say it again...You have a gift. Seriously! That post made me tear up because you have a gift at so eloquently putting words together that touch a persons soul. I've never even been to your home, but feel like I know it through your expression.

    Smart, beautiful and talented??!! NO FAIR!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Such a sweet post. I always get nostalgic about saying goodbye to the places where I've made memories.

    I'm so sad that you're already packing boxes and saying goodbye to this cute little house. I thought we'd have you around for at least another year. Bummer. Hope your next abode brings you as many beautiful memories as this one did.

    ReplyDelete
  7. That mac and cheese was terrible

    ReplyDelete
  8. SO jealous! I love old houses with "character" and awesome windows like that. How fun, and sad to leave.

    ReplyDelete
  9. PLEASE let us know if you need help moving! We are more than happy to help out.. I know moving sucks! But, that is what family is for!

    ReplyDelete

thank you for your shout outs!