Monday, April 28, 2008
g: That's sick.
me: Have you ever tried it?
g: I don't think so, but it's sick, isn't it? i mean...it's squash.
me: no...it's delicious?
g: I'm pretty sure squash is disgusting.
me: okay then.
I, on the other hand, will assume every food is delicious until proven otherwise. And it is extremely rare that a food proves otherwise. However today, I found my first HATED food.
As I was driving home for lunch, hungry Jess & healthy Jess were in a bit of a quarrel. Hungry Jess was seriously craving pizza, because several Agents had been eating it earlier and she had been smelling it all day. Healthy Jess, on the other hand, was rooting for a Salad. Unfortunately for me, healthy Jess won. So, I stopped by Harmons and grabbed a salad. Go Healthy Jess! Back at home, I settled in to enjoy and took the first bite.
I was horrified.
What was that?! It was so disgusting I blacked out for 5 minutes. When I came to, I inspected the mystery food...It looked like cheese that had gone horribly horribly wrong. Maybe rotted for a few months? This couldn't be right. And then it hit me---This was blue cheese. And I hated it. So much so that I threw the entire salad away & dry heaved the whole way to work.
So there you go folks. I despise blue cheese and I'm not going to lie...I'm kind of excited.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
She made me afraid of tanning beds. Something 15 months working at Hollywood Tans and dozens of leather-skinned UV ray addicted skin cancer patients could not do.
Seriously people, I couldn't get over it. The lip liner, the boobs, the eyeliner, the furniture! I know you were all thinking the same thing last night. Just fess up and admit it.
Or, am I the only one?
Friday, April 18, 2008
Anyways, the first thing I asked when my Mom told me to read it was, "Can I borrow your copy of 'The Proper Care and Feeding of Wives' also?" But, I was stunned to find that that book doesn't exist. No fair.
I brought it home and showed it to G over dinner (while I fed him gourmet tuna melts) and he was, of course, thrilled to learn that I would be reading a book about how to properly feed him. Of course, he insisted that this was not because I need any help in that area, since I am already an A+ wife.
Anyways, I am going to start it today and we shall see what kind of feeding and/or caring-for Dr. Schlesh wants me to do. I have been married for a whole year and 7 months now (which pretty much makes me an expert) and if you ask me, the best way to care for your husband is to laugh at his jokes. Even when they aren't funny. Which, I totally do....See?
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
I just need to say that I couldn't be more thrilled that Matt got rid off Robyn & Marshana because I couldn't stand either of them! Finally!! I was completely blown away, because he always seemed very into Robyn, but I loved seeing her get crushed (mean, I know). She was so cocky & arrogant, though, I felt like she deserved it. And what about her face during the rose ceremony? She always looked like such a snot.
And Marshana! Uggghh...How she lasted that long is beyond me. It was clear from day 1 that her & Matt had NOTHING in common. And their kiss grossed me out so much I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit. I screamed for joy when they both got eliminated...I mean I literally screamed for joy...at my TV...it was pathetic.
And Shayne. I like Shayne. She won me over on her first one-on-one date with Matt when she admitted to being completely materialistic and high maintenance. I loved her honesty. She is probably the only girl in Bachelor history who hasn't tried to be something she isn't in order to win. She is funny & sarcastic too, which I love...I am rooting for her.
I also love Meeps (aka Amanda) because she has the meeps, which is hilarious. She seems genuine and sincere, but I am not sure if she is outgoing enough for Matt, but still, she has the meeps! That is so awesome!
Anyways, I feel like all my reality TV dreams have now come true after last nights episode! Now, let's just hope Matt does us all a favor & actually chooses someone in the end. I can't hate on Brad, though, he was my favorite Bachelor of all time (again, because of his honesty) but I was so sad to see Jenni crushed. Loved her.
Thanks for listening! I feel so much better!!!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
So, this post is to prove that Jon is, in fact, a loving, dedicated fish owner, who has not only revived his dead fish after it jumped out of the tank and onto the carpet, but even has a t shirt dedicated to his little ones.
Take that Fish Nazi!!!!
Just so happy.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
I got a $50 gift card to Target from my work for my birthday (thanks girls) and yesterday I finally decided to spend it. I came home with 3 tops & a pair of earrings (isn't that the beauty of Target) that I thought I loved. I woke up this morning and hated everything besides the earrings. They will all be returned this weekend for round numero dos.
I have also purchased and returned 3, count-em 3, church dresses thus far. They looked fabulous in the dressing room, but somehow morphed into something else at my house!?
Has this ever happened to you?
Also, I found this fun blog while surfing. Perfect if you are planning a wedding...hint, hint, nudge, nudge...Sarah.
P.S. I realize that this is a pointless post, but it's all I've got! Tear.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
While making dinner, I decided to line my baking sheet with wax paper, to hopefully make cleaning up a little easier (thrilling, I know, this is the life of married me). Anyways, I have seen cooler women do this and I thought nothing of it.
It didn't work out so well for me.
5 minutes into the cooking process, I hear our smoke alarm (and in turn, house alarm) blaring through the house and run upstairs to see a smoke-filled kitchen. G quickly takes the smoke-alarm apart, as I open the oven to see that the wax paper has completely started on fire and is burning to a crisp!
I am so confused?!?! I thought that was what wax paper was for!? Somebody help me out, please, because I must be clueless or something?
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Here are the rules:
1. Take a picture of your bag
2. Show a picture of ALL the contents in your bag and then name them NO CLEANING OUT FIRST!!!!
3. "Bag Tag" five to ten people
4. Leave a comment on their blog that says "You've Been Bag Tagged!"
Okay, I seriously, seriously can't believe I am doing this. You are all going to think I am one sick freak after seeing everything in my purse. Please, first, let me point out that I have been traveling a lot lately & a few of the items in this purse are there for that reason.
So, here is the purse I have been carrying lately. I always bring this purse on trips because it is huge & can carry everything (as you will see), but it definitely is not my cutest or favorite purse. I wish I could show you a cuter one, but rules are rules.
It looks innocent enough.
Here is a peek inside. Looks pretty jammed, but surprisingly, it still closes with no problem.
And here is everything that is in it right now!
We have an Us Weekly, a book, my wallet & check book, my day planner (only carry this on trips), a water bottle, an orange, a bottle of excedrin migraine, an empty lia sophia box, my camera case, a pair of gloves (you can't see these because they are black & blend into the table), my temple recommend, 2 bottles of lotion, one bottle of body splash, my cell phone, 2 lip glosses and 2 chapsticks, 7 pens, 3 elastics, face powder, i-pod headphones, icebreakers & gum, a paperclip, 2 bracelets and 1 necklace, 2 pairs of sunglasses, a headband, 2 plane tickets, 5 receipts, 2 to-do lists & 5 grocery lists.
I seriously need help. I am going to go clean out my purse now and this will just be an awful memory!
Now I tag: Chelsea, Annie, Jennie, Rache & anyone else who wants to bear their soul!
Ps...This seriously, seriously, seriously does have something to do with the fact that I haven't cleaned out my purse since my trip a week ago. I swear. It is not usually this full!