Friday, May 15, 2009

the lesson i'm learning.

This morning I woke up to two little puppies curled tightly against my body. Both had snuck up to join me there. Both had surprised my with their presence. I lay there for a moment and listened to G hustle about in the darkness. Soon, the expected kiss came and then, too quickly, he was gone. I rolled back on to my stomach and pushed snooze again, stealing a few more minutes of silence before Friday arrived.

At lunch time, Jenny & I ventured out across the parking lot to a sunny little patch of grass near a tree. We put on our sunglasses, rolled up our jeans and layed in the sunshine. We talked a lot about life, and relationships, and timing. We talked about how hard it is to have the patience to wait for things to happen when they are supposed to, rather than when we wish they would. We all want different things, we are all reaching for different destinations, and sometimes the road we must travel to get there is different than the path we originally envisioned. Sometimes the destination is different, too.

I think I've been learning this lesson lately. I've thought about it, prayed about it, tried to wrap my brain around it. It all comes back to patience. How do I cultivate the patience I need to let my moments come when they are supposed to, rather than when I wish they would? How do I trust that the good things that pass me by, might lead to better things somewhere down the road?

Yesterday, while visiting with a few ladies in my ward, my visiting teaching companion offered some perfect advice. "Life isn't a sprint, she said, it's a marathon. Every thing we achieve in life comes after moments and moments of failure. We get up everyday and try our best and everyday we fail a little bit, until one day when we finally realize that all that failure has become success."

I believe that sometimes the reward is in the failure. Sometimes the reward is the bumps and bruises and lessons we learn along the way. Sometimes the reward is in who all the failure turns us into...who it helps us become. Maybe the reward is in the fact that we don't become who we thought we would be, but instead, we become something better.

G didn't get the job I wrote about a while ago. We were sad and discouraged when we found out. Like I mentioned before, the job would have brought on some happy changes for our family. We thought it was what we needed and we prayed for it all to work out. But, for whatever reason, it simply didn't and suddenly our plan had been torn out from under us all over again. At first, it felt a little bit like failure.

But after a while...After we'd had some time to sit and think and process and consider. After we were discouraged and upset. After all the dust had settled and our torn up plans found their way back down to the ground. Back down to square one. After all of that was over, we finally saw a new plan. Suddenly, right in front of us, was a new destination.

We didn't get what we wanted. But maybe, what we wanted wasn't really what we needed. Maybe someone else saw something different for us. Maybe someone else saw something

BETTER.

8 comments:

  1. This is a beautiful post. I want you to know that the things you said I believe 100%. my life took a lot of unexpected turns, leading me to deal with things beyond my years....the more "failures" I feel I had the more discouraged I became... And then one day it all just made sense, fell into place and it was clear that each failure was neccessary to get me to where i'm at :) happy & right where I am supposed to be. Thanks for sharing:)

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  2. again, you amaze me with your writing. I know it's hard to see the big picture sometimes, but you're right, it will all work out in the end. Someday, you'll be glad that this thing didn't happen.

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  3. WOW!! Good thoughts!!! So helpful b/c I think we all have that demolished plan or two occasionally. How do you do that? How do you write that way? I love it!!

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  4. To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. When God takes something from your grasp He's not punishing you but merely opening your hands to receive something better. ~I really like this couple of lines and have it printed on my desk in the office just to remind me that God knows what's best for us and those foiled plans are for a reason we just don't understand yet! Good Luck!

    And... If your time stopped for the weekend (or even slowed down a little) PLEASE SHARE THE SECRET! LOL!

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  5. You are so right. And you and I are sooo alike. Patience is definitely something that I envy others for, when I want it I want it NOW! It seems we always have to learn the hard way what is in store for us, and sometimes it's vastly different than what we thought it was.
    Love you, always and forver!

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  6. Well said! The story of my life, for real. Im glad other people feel the exact same way!

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  7. You are so creative with your thoughts and feelings, and I admire you and how you can put it on paper. I hope you're doing well. I miss seeing you. Take care and keep doing what you're doing!
    xoxo

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thank you for your shout outs!