Friday, January 7, 2011

still cooking.

i know i should be happy about that & i am, but i'm also losing it. for the first 3 weeks all of the nurses told me every day that i was the favorite patient- the one with the best attitude, who was handling things and keeping my cool and still cracking jokes and not crying hysterically every day.

well that lasted 20+ days and now i am officially no longer that person. the crying and freaking out has begun & i don't know how much more i can take. baby is scheduled to be delivered a few days short of 37 weeks & i swear if they try to push it back (again) i might hurt someone. i can take another week or so of this & i can take no more.

i'm happy for baby girl that she is doing so well, but she better ready herself for the big bad world, because there is no way in hell i can do this for much longer. sorry for the bummer post, friends, but everyone has their breaking point & i've officially reached mine. as always, thank you for your thoughts & prayers and i apologize for the poor mood. the good news is today is friday, which means my little family (g+pups) will spend the weekend here with me and i won't have to eat hospital food for a few days and that makes everything more bearable.

ps. baby weighs over 5 pounds this week-she has put on a half a pound each week i've been here! in other news, she is now sucking her entire hand rather than just her thumb. go right ahead, little one, if you can get all 5 fingers in there then why the hell not?

pps. sorry for the usage of two semi-swear words in this post. just keeping it real, folks.

9 comments:

  1. oh you cute thing. & you POOR thing. i am so sorry you are having to do this. NO FUN.
    thanks for being real, i love real.
    ps. am sending you a little "love" via mail. have your husb watch for it and bring it to you when it arrives.
    xoxo

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  2. You have every right to be completely DONE with being there! You deserve to cry all you want, because it sucks! I feel so bad for you! I'm going to try and steal away again to come visit you again before you have her. And then, of course, after you have her. At least I'll be able to actually hold her after you have her, because she's going to be plenty huge :)
    Hang in there (poster of kitten hanging on to a tree branch - precious), it will all be over soon. I know, not soon enough, but soon.
    Love you!!

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  3. Hang in there, woman! So sorry you've been couped up in a hospital room for weeks on end. You should give yourself permission to cry and swear and be hysterical. Best of luck with the last stretch! You and baby are in my prayers.

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  4. this post made me smile a little. Not because you're miserable, obviously, but because of the way you describe the suckiness of the situation. I'm sorry you're still in the hospital. Sheesh, that is awful. I am happy that your little girl is doing well enough that she gets to stay in the oven, but you're right. Everyone has their breaking point, and I'm pretty sure mine would have been 20 days sooner than yours, so I applaud you. Hang in there!

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  5. you have done SO GOOD. Seriously, it took you for ever to get to your "breaking point" and if the semi-swear words & crying is all that comes with it, then you still deserve the favorite patient award. love you!

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  6. And I don't blame you one bit!!! Not one bit!! I love you Jess! Hopefully you can just sleep for 6 out of the next 7 days!

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  7. I'm hoping for you from Canada's far east coast my friend! You deserve your rant! Keeping you in our thoughts! Am sure a puppy visit, and your sweet G, will temper the sad mood for a bit.

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  8. Hang in there Jess. Think of how perfect and healthy that baby girl will be. And, hell is totally not a swear word in my books. It's part of my daily language (sad but true!)

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  9. haha love the swear words! Sometimes it's the only way to describe how you are feeling. And, I personally love how honest you are. If I read another person's post about how wonderful life is every second of every day I might gag. It's nice to know that other people go through things and they make it through so I can too. Hope things get better for you!

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thank you for your shout outs!