Monday, March 21, 2011

twenty four.

 my birthday used to be the shiz.

when i was little, the anticipation was so great i sometimes thought it might kill me to wait until march 21st each year. my parents made birthdays really special. sometimes we were checked out of school for lunch, sometimes we got to choose special restaurants for dinner...always, there was a party. my birthday felt like the greatest day of the year.

i don't feel that way anymore.

in fact, early early this morning, when i got up to feed my baby, it hadn't occurred to me that it was already my birthday. when my husband wished me a happy birthday a few hours later on his way to work, it finally dawned on me. oh right, 24.

i thought about what i might want to do with my day as i lay in bed waiting for evie to wake up. a list of a million errands immediately came to my mind, none of them the least bit exciting or birthday worthy. i thought about what i should wear (choosing a birthday outfit used to be a big deal, you know) and then reminded myself that ev has been on a puking streak all weekend and i should probably rule out anything i actually love.

and then i thought about what i might want for my birthday, and that one was easy. how about 12 straight hours of uninterrupted sleep. can we possibly make that wish a reality?

but then, as quickly as the thought came, the little girl next door starting calling out to me, begging for me to come hold her, change her, kiss her, feed her. and i realized no. no way.

so instead of fulfilling my wish for hours of rest, baby girl and i have big plans for lunch, a little bit of shopping and perhaps a dessert or two in the afternoon. and we're both going to wear our birthday best. after all, she turns 2 months old today, too.

today, i'm 24.

24 and more tired.
24 and more needed.
24 and usually covered in spit-up.
24 and happier.
24 and more blessed.
24 and more loved.

a happy birthday, indeed.