Monday, April 25, 2011
Dear Stinker Woman: Remember the days when nothing could stand in the way of you and your beloved naps? Remember how I would lay you down, kiss your mouth a few times, turn on your soother and LEAVE? Remember that? And you would close your blue eyes and snooze for an hour or two? Remember?! What happened?!
Dear Eyeballs: If my baby sleeps 10 hours at night why do I constantly feel like you're going to FALL OUT?
Dear Boobs: Am I still nursing in the middle of the night without even realizing it? Do I just sleep walk through the whole thing?! I am really starting to wonder because the exhaustion I feel every morning has got to be caused by something.
Dear G: I can't believe you got up at 5am to run this morning.Was it worth it?? I never want to come with you.
Dear Snickers eggs: How is it possible that you each contain 150 calories? How is it possible that I ate 4 of you this morning? How is it possible that you taste so good?
Dear May: You better provide sunshine and warmth or I am boycotting Spring all together. Seriously, this is a joke. And tell your buddy, April, that we're pissed.
Dear Target: Why do you have the ability to suck all of the money out of my wallet and send me home with a cart full of things I don't really need. I need to get over you.
Dear Royal Wedding: Just happen already!
Dear J bubba: I don't know why you swallowed a fly. Perhaps you'll die.
Dear Monday: Mondays are for suckers.