Monday, April 4, 2011

month two.

Dear Ev,

Today I feel like writing you a letter. You are 10 weeks old! Where has the time gone? Part of me feels like it has all flown by and the other part of me feels like I've known you and loved you forever, which makes sense, because I have. Now that you are here, I simply cannot imagine my life without smiley, giggly, happy, adorable little you.

You are 10 weeks old, but you don't yet weigh 10 pounds (9 pounds 7 ounces last we checked) . You are 10 weeks old and still fit best in things that are labeled "newborn". You sleep 9 hours at night, from 10pm to 7am (bless you!) and you finally love to nurse. You are 10 weeks old and a complete delight.

Your little life is busy and you spend it smiling. You are a happy baby and so easy going and content. I don't like being home all the time, so I have tried hard to continue to go out and do the things that make me happy and I am so grateful that you will go with the flow and let me drag you along. You have gotten used to taking your nap in your carseat, or in your stroller, or at Nana's house, if that's where we are. Although you are flexible, you love your schedule and follow it religiously. If I am even 10 minutes late putting you down for a nap you will surely let me know that "it's nap time!" and you'd like to go to sleep now! You don't like to be  rocked or bounced when it's time for bed, you just want to be swaddled and put down and then you will close your little eyes and happily fall asleep, without all the fuss. You remind me so much of your Dad in that way.

Speaking of your Dad...he adores you, but that doesn't surprise us, does it? He calls to check on you every day and tells you he missed you every night. I love what you have done to him, Evie. You have changed him. Suddenly he sings songs and changes diapers and is the guy in the restaurant feeding a baby a bottle. We both knew that parenthood would be hard and require a lot of energy, but I don't think either of us could have anticipated how happy it would make us. You make us want more babies now and could they please all be exactly like you?

I wish I could tell you how much I love you. I don't know how. My Mom used to tell me that I wouldn't understand how she feels about me until I had a baby of my own and now I will say the same thing to you, because it's true.

I don't know how to describe that feeling, so I will say this instead. For a few days last week, you weren't feeling well. We aren't sure why, but for some reason you were throwing up every day. I would nurse you and try to soothe you and sure enough, eventually you would throw up in my hair, down my shirt, all over my outfit, with tears streaming down your face. By the third day I had a mountain of laundry to do and had taken at least 10 showers. Your Dad jokingly told me to stop holding you so much. It would make more sense for me to put you down after feeding you and wait for you to throw up in your chair rather than all over me. It made sense, but it didn't happen. No matter how many times I ended up with puke in my hair, I held you.

Being a Mom feels like that. Regardless of the situation, I want to be the one holding you. If you have to throw up, then I want you to do it in my arms. I want to make you happy, make you feel better. I want to be the one who wipes your tears and makes you smile again. I want to be the one who is cooped up in this little home with you, covered in your spit-up.

I will always be here for you, baby girl. There is no where else for me to be.

Love,
Mommy

6 comments:

  1. You are such an amazing writer. Beautiful, simply beautiful.

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  2. sweet letter and cutest pics! i love her and cant believe its been 10 weeks either!!

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  3. you are a lucky girl to have such a great kid. and she's a lucky girl to have such a great mom.

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  4. i'm pretty sure you guys have the most adorable baby ever. too cute.

    amy
    xoxo

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  5. well I officially feel like the worst mother!

    9 hours, and no fussing for naps! And loves her schedule....I think you won the baby lottery. That is pretty rare, and you should feel proud.

    I'm feeling good right now about 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Many of my friends are even worse. Congrats!

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  6. First, before I read your most recent post (cause I can tell it's going to have something to do with this one) I want to tell you how this post made me feel when I read it first like I should. :)

    I felt like crying because I love how you did put what your mom feels into words. I think you put into words what every mom feels. SO much love for those tinies. It makes me so happy for you and for Greg and it makes me smile picturing all of it. It makes me happy for Evie. It makes me even happier to be a mom and to be reminded of all the wonderfulness that even being thrown up on repeatedly involves. I love seeing husbands change in that way. I LOVE it. Nothing gets to Clay like his new baby does. Nothing. I love fixing things for them too. Sheesh, now I am crying. Anyway, I just had to tell you that I loved reading this and I may read it again and again in the future. :)

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thank you for your shout outs!