Wednesday, July 6, 2011

please enter the secret password before reading this post.

if you were to come to my house on any given afternoon it is very likely that you would find me doing one of the following things:

01. nursing my little blob of deliciousness.
02. eating some avocado while nursing my little blob of deliciousness.
03. sitting on the lawn while yelling at my dogs who are in the road.
04. sorting mail/throwing away little pieces of paper/blogging while throwing away little pieces of paper.
05. picking my husband's shoes up off the floor.
06. vacuuming up dead ants.

the end.

just kidding. what i really came here to talk about is item number 4: sorting mail/throwing away little pieces of paper/blogging while throwing away little pieces of paper. specifically the "little pieces of paper" part. because, well, LITTLE PIECES OF PAPER! they're everywhere! they're on the desk and on top of the fridge and on the nightstand and in his closet!?! they're in the pockets of his jeans when i wash them and once i found one in the garage.

little pieces of paper!!

do you know what i'm talking about? no? i'm going to take a picture and upload it just to demonstrate my point. that's how serious i am about this! you guys, i am DEAD SERIOUS!

hold, please.


and...there you are.

you see? little pieces of paper with meaningless numbers written on them are taking over my life! i mean, why?! and what?! and also, who?!

let's take this piece of paper, for example. on it we find 3 numbers, the first is crossed out and exceptionally long, so let's not worry about it. the second is 8917370639. the third; 12278499.

what are these numbers?! and why are they in my life? these are not telephone numbers or bank account numbers or passwords. they aren't linked to any of our accounts or work-related. and these numbers are not our lucky numbers (mine is 21!), so what then?! is my husband a spy? is this the secret code he uses to log into his secret spy website every day (if so i just blew his cover and whoops). does he have a secret life i don't know about? is this the number of illegitimate children he has fathered? the amount currently in his secret bank account? the number of days left until the bomb he has planted goes off!?

and what about the papers?! i mean, can i throw them away? the papers aren't filed (not important?) but they aren't in the garbage either (maybe important??). if i toss the papers will he come home in a panic one day muttering "917......where is that number?!?"

should i start a new file in the filing drawer and call it "G'S SPECIAL PLACE FOR HIS TOP-SECRET SPECIAL NUMBERS"??

you guys, WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!

*UPDATE: spoke to g about this particular piece of paper and when questioned as to the significance of the numbers he claimed he has no idea what the numbers are, but has requested i not throw the paper away. he's a spy, right?! i think he's a spy.

6 comments:

  1. YESS!!! They are all over our dresser, the nightstand, in my car, and on the counter top. Finally someone else gets it! Or doesn't. But then that means you do in a way? :) I think the file is a good idea because I keep getting in trouble for throwing them away. And why must we keep them?

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  2. T and G are so similar! I also have random spreadsheets all over the desktop on our computer! I must say though, I'm usually the one leaving stupid little papers all over the house so I shouldn't complain. I would just put them in a little box and make him sort through them every now & then.

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  3. Al is the EXACT same way, I seriously don't get it. Must be a guy thing.

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  4. I'm so glad Bryan isn't the only one.....but I can tell what his are for: VIN #'s for old cars on KSL he has no plans to actually buy, phone #'s for people who own the old cars on KSL he has no plans to actually buy, measurements for rooms/spaces/furniture/etc that he will not remember why or what they go to, the list goes on and on and on. I feel your pain.

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  5. The answer is yes, he's a secret spy and now that you've divulged his top secret identity he has to kill you, and everyone who has read this blog and memorized the code numbers you've posted! Please tell G I'd like to go quick and as painless as possible, I do not know any other secrets so there's no reason for painful torture ;) Thanks a lot J, we're all dead now... (hehehe!)

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  6. hahaha! My dad does that. It drives my mom crazy.

    p.s. about your other post and G being gone for 16 days, I totally understand what you mean. Every time Dan has to leave I feel completely out of step and very, very lonely. The only advice I can give is to keep busy and try not to dwell too much on it.

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thank you for your shout outs!