to my evie baby,
you are eight months old! and now pardon me while i go cry myself to sleep, because baby, you are growing up too fast.
part of me wants to call out in despair "how did this happen?!" and then the other part of me knows exactly how it happened because i was there and i witnessed every moment of it.
you are growing up, little one, and i am so reluctantly letting you do so.
at eight months old you are the happiest baby i have ever known. if there is anything i hear about you over and over from others it is that you never seem to cry (only somewhat true), you have your daddy's blue eyes (with the tiniest spec of brown, mind you) and you are curious and alert as can be (yes!), but what i say most about you is that you are delightful.
i know no other word that describes who you are or what you have brought into my life better than that one, evie. you are just so delightful. you are happy, you are curious, you are sweet and loving and cuddly. you are patient and content and happy to just be. you are calm and easy-going and you light up my world with the sunshine you seem to carry in your pocket at all times.
you are delightful.
at eight months old you are learning something new every day, but my favorite new trick of yours is your ability to hug. each day, when i get you from your crib, you wrap your arms tightly around my neck, rest your head on my shoulder, and pat me on the back. your pudgy little hand beats rhythmically against me as i hold you and we stay there like that, hugging one another, for as long as you will allow.
evie, since the moment i married your dad i wanted to have a baby. when it finally came time to start trying for one, i wanted you so desperately at times it felt like it was crushing in on my chest. and when it seemed so hard to get pregnant, i felt an ache inside myself that couldn't have been filled by anyone other than you. that will never be lost on me. the fact that you are here now. the fact that i wanted you and prayed for you and begged for you and then, after a little while, i found you.
the fact that you pat me on the back in the morning and rub your eyes at night when you are tired. the fact that you have fluffy blond hair and eyes that mirror your dads. the thumb-sucking and the giggling and the one tiny tooth peeking out as you grin.
it's all i've ever wanted.