Every time I do anything with Evie I wonder if we will ever do it again after the twins arrive. We go to lunch and I think "never again". We wander through Target and I imagine how I could fit 2 car seats in the shopping cart plus wrangle a 1 year old? Even walks through the neighborhood seem pretty unlikely unless Evie is up for walking next to my double stroller the entire time (and Evie isn't even walking yet. Like, at all.)
Ev comes to me during the day and clutches my leg, reaching up for me to hold her and I think "What will I do when I have 3 little people reaching up for me? Who will I pick up first? Who will I hold and kiss and calm as the other two cry? And how will I ever decide?"
As with most things in life, I know it does me no good to wonder about any of this. It is impossible for me to imagine how I will navigate my new life when I haven't even caught a glimpse of it yet. I have to keep reminding myself that I will figure it out when I get there. By the time I have 3 little people all reaching up to be held I will be a completely different person with a completely different set of mothering skills and I will have learned how to love them all at once.
At least that's what I hope. That's what I'm clinging to. For now.
In other news, want to see something really hilarious??
pregnant with Evie at 20 weeks / pregnant with the twins at 20 weeks
This makes me laugh.
Hahahahahaha ha ha ha. HA.