they linked arms like this all on their own, i swear. i have a witness!
If you get annoyed with Mothers who are obsessed with their children LOOK AWAY NOW because I am the most annoying Mom you'll ever meet. When I found out I was having twins at that 20 week ultrasound the emotion that I felt the strongest was FEAR. I was scared. So, so scared. I couldn't imagine it being fun. I couldn't imagine feeling anything but stress. And those feelings were irrational and magnified by shock, but I have to say that caring for these sweet little twins of mine has been a much happier experience than I expected it to be. It has been a pleasant surprise.
Don't get me wrong here. It is HARD. Some days I am certain I won't survive another hour. Some days I want to bang my head against the wall a few hundred times. It is so hard, so stressful, very monotonous, and very exhausting, but man oh man, DO I LOVE THEM.
And that's the thing I almost wasn't expecting. Although I knew that I would love them (of course I would!), when I found out there would be two of them I worried that the stress might trump the adoration. I worried the stress would overcome me and make it hard for me to feel anything else. And I am so lucky to say that's not the case. I am so happy to say that the love trumps the stress times a million. Their needs never end, I rarely sit down, the feedings are never-ending and I am so, so tired, but I also feel so lucky. I can't believe they are mine. I can't believe how much my heart has stretched to make room for them. I can't believe how cute they are, how sweet, how soft and tiny and precious and perfect.
I don't want this time to go too quickly. Because right now they are everything to this little family and more. This time we're having--this phase of life spent doing nothing but loving them and feeding them and wiping their tiny bums--It is impossibly tiring and so insane and one of the greatest challenges I've ever known.
It is also straight up MAGIC.
2 months old.