we had ourselves an anniversary!

 our babysitter is scheduled for tomorrow night, so that's when the real partying is set to happen, but we did have ourselves a nice little family date night to grab a burger, fries and a grasshopper shake to share. i got some pretty flowers and g got a little scavenger hunt around the house with notes telling him things i love about him.

i'm particulary proud of the final note, which so lovingly said this:

and of this picture of us, taken with the self-timer that took probably 6 attempts to achieve (and is still pretty terrible)...

until tomorrow night, lover!

sucktastic solids.

those of you who hate it when bloggers get all mommy-bloggerish and go on about things the rest of us couldn't care less about, LOOK AWAY, because i'm about to do just that.

and here i go...

SOLIDS AREN'T SO GREAT!
(i just have to get this off my chest).

in fact, some days i think that solids are the worst.

i mean, remember the days when all i had to do in order to feed her was snuggle her and watch a little mindless tv for 10 minutes as she sweetly nursed? WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE DAYS?!

now they want me to feed her actual food. and 3 times a day?! they tell me she should be eating half solids in a months time, but why does she have to grow up so soon anyways?!

i'm convinced that those of you who love the solids thing have babies who aren't the grabbiest babies in the world, because otherwise you'd be grumpy about it too.

these days we cannot get through a meal without food in her hair, in her eyes, up her nose, in her diaper, on the walls, in my hair, on the floor and splattered across the kitchen. and this girl's skin can only take so much wiping and washing before it becomes sore, red, sensitive norwegian daddy skin!

solids aren't so great!

on the plus side, evie made such a mess with lunch this afternoon that BOTH OF US needed a good scrubbing after she was finished. and a shower in the middle of the day WITH my baby is a blast and kind of makes up for the fact that i have to let her grow up at all.

kind of.

five years.

dear husband,

do you remember that time six years ago when we finally talked in the parking lot of exit realty? we stood against my car until it started to rain and then we climbed inside of it because we weren't finished yet. you were nervous and you fidgeted with the car vent in front of you as you spoke.

do you remember how i suggested that i would set you up with one of my friends and you turned and looked me right in the eyes and said, "why don't you set me up with you instead?". it was pouring rain all around us as we sat inside my little black jetta and i just knew.

i'll never forget that.

remember the day we got married?

remember how you couldn't find your car in the parking lot after the temple ceremony? i waited for you, in my wedding dress, on the corner of temple square for 45 minutes. do you remember how when you finally found the car in the parking garage and came to get me i was laughing because i was so embarrassed about everyone who had stopped to ask if the poor little abandoned bride was okay.

remember how i thought i could do my own hair and makeup that day (dumb) and then you surprised me by hiring kalai to come and sing to us and i proceeded to ugly cry all of my makeup off and i looked nothing like a bride by the end of the night, but i was just so happy i didn't care.

that night, we went back to our new basement apartment to grab our luggage for the honeymoon and you proceeded to run into our apartment, forget what we were there for, put the keys on the counter and then run back out and lock the door behind you. we were stranded in the driveway with no car keys and no way to get back in on our wedding night. remember how we laughed and laughed in the darkness as we waited for tyler & jennie to come rescue us so we could get our things and head to the hotel?

***

remember how you never once farted in front of me until we stepped onto the cold tile of our honeymoon suite that first day? remember how i had no idea you knew how to grout a shower or fix a car until our dishwasher broke and you confessed to all of it. the first time i cooked you dinner i tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich in the george forman. we still had so much to learn about one another.

remember when we closed on our first home? we slept in the basement on a mattress on the floor. we played scrabble next to the fireplace and i bought sparkling cider.

remember how we decided to get dogs. sometimes i think that was a really dumb idea, getting those dogs, but then evie goes to sleep and i see them sleeping on the floor next to our bed. i remember how we used to be this little family of 4 and i love them for filling that place inside of me for awhile.

remember the thanksgiving eve we spent eating canned chili and drinking milk by candlelight? remember all the nights i woke you up because i couldn't sleep and all the blessings you gave me on a kitchen chair in our bedroom. remember all the times i dragged you to the park to swing under the stars and all the walks we've taken with just us, the pups, and the setting sun. remember that time when i thought i couldn't get pregnant and i made you promise me over and over again that i could.

remember last night as i rocked our baby before bed, you heard me in there with her and you left your online study group to come stand with us in the darkness before i set her down. "don't you try to put her to bed without me!" you joked, so we stood there, our little family of three, taking turns holding her and smiling at her and kissing her as your class moved on without you.

remember that?

today, we've been married for five years. 

sometimes, when i can't sleep, i love to remember how i felt about you before i really even knew you. because even then, i could just picture this future with you; the handsome blond with the briefcase who smiled at me from across the office. i could feel that i belonged with you. i could see our memories and our babies and this whole life together.

and now, here we are, five years later.

i remember all of it.

scenes from lunch with a downtown dad.

downtown dads don't get to have lunch with the ladies all that often, so when we get an email from our downtown dad inviting us to dine with him at the food trucks, we show up early with smiles on our faces and take ten thousand pictures. the food trucks have delicious food (we had calamari tacos!) and park downtown every thursday, you guys. want to come?!

ps. the leaves are changing. fools!!

the stats.

it has come to my attention that some believe my "month by month" posts contain too much mush and not enough factual information.

it's true, i do sway towards the mush (especially when it comes to my baby, hello!) but that doesn't mean i can't deliver a good strong post full of nothing but details you don't care about.

let's do this!

name: evie jane olsen
age: 8 months rad
height: smaller than average
head: way, way smaller than average
weight: way, way, way smaller than average

favorite foods: breastmilk, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, cantaloupe, brown rice cereal
dislikes: peas, pears, blueberries, peaches?!
still nurses: a lot

naps: 3 per day
she: loves them
bedtime: 8 pm
sleeps: 12 hours
requires: blankie, seahorse, thumb

hair: blond, fluffy, fine, straight. not her mothers.
preferred style: like kate gosselin, please.
eyes: blue with a speck of brown
lips: for kissing
teeth: 1 on bottom + 1 coming in next door

hates: putting on a shirt
loves: singing songs

favorite tv: mickey mouse clubhouse, baby einstein
sits up on her own: since 6 months old
rolls: everywhere
most likely to: put it in her mouth
says: mama, baba
cries: barely
hobbies: the pool, the swings, the lawn, the pups

favorite toys: sophie the giraffe, penelope the mouse, mom's watch, nana's watch, dad's watch, the leg of the coffee table
favorite time of day: mornings and bath time
favorite song: come little rabbit, wheels on the bus (only the shhh, shhh, shhh part)
favorite car rides: none of them
favorite friends: all of her cousins + all of her friends + anyone small
favorite pastime: pulling/eating her mothers hair
favorite parent: she'll never tell!
favorite movie star: ryan gosling (obviously)
favorite blog post about her: this one

the end.

ps. feel free to steal this very formal questionnaire, friends with babies. maybe i should, like tag you or something. ;)

month eight.

to my evie baby,

you are eight months old! and now pardon me while i go cry myself to sleep, because baby, you are growing up too fast.

part of me wants to call out in despair "how did this happen?!" and then the other part of me knows exactly how it happened because i was there and i witnessed every moment of it.

you are growing up, little one, and i am so reluctantly letting you do so.

at eight months old you are the happiest baby i have ever known. if there is anything i hear about you over and over from others it is that you never seem to cry (only somewhat true), you have your daddy's blue eyes (with the tiniest spec of brown, mind you) and you are curious and alert as can be (yes!), but what i say most about you is that you are delightful.

i know no other word that describes who you are or what you have brought into my life better than that one, evie. you are just so delightful. you are happy, you are curious, you are sweet and loving and cuddly. you are patient and content and happy to just be. you are calm and easy-going and you light up my world with the sunshine you seem to carry in your pocket at all times.

you are delightful.

at eight months old you are learning something new every day, but my favorite new trick of yours is your ability to hug. each day, when i get you from your crib, you wrap your arms tightly around my neck, rest your head on my shoulder, and pat me on the back. your pudgy little hand beats rhythmically against me as i hold you and we stay there like that, hugging one another, for as long as you will allow.

evie, since the moment i married your dad i wanted to have a baby. when it finally came time to start trying for one, i wanted you so desperately at times it felt like it was crushing in on my chest. and when it seemed so hard to get pregnant, i felt an ache inside myself that couldn't have been filled by anyone other than you. that will never be lost on me. the fact that you are here now. the fact that i wanted you and prayed for you and begged for you and then, after a little while, i found you.

the fact that you pat me on the back in the morning and rub your eyes at night when you are tired. the fact that you have fluffy blond hair and eyes that mirror your dads. the thumb-sucking and the giggling and the one tiny tooth peeking out as you grin.

it's all i've ever wanted.

love, 

mama