easter sundee.

we had ourselves an easter sundee! this holiday kind of snuck up on me and i dropped the ball on getting evie a new easter dress, dying easter eggs or taking very many pictures, but the easter bunny did remember the basket, so the holiday wasn't a total bust! we also loved going to grandma & grandpa olsen's house to eat a delicious dinner, hunt for easter eggs and play with the cousins. hope your easter was a success and your kitchen cupboards are full of chocolate!

ps. a lot changes in a year! last year's easter sundee here

a new year.

i hereby declare twenty twelve to be the year in which i grow up.

i mean, here we are, january the 19th (i had to think really hard to come up with that date) and already i have conquered one of my biggest fears. and what have you done with your january, i ask!

it all started when plans began to emerge for g's most recent school trip to dubai of all places. the last time he traveled for school (without his girls by his side-london!) was back in august when he went to shanghai, china. and look, i'm not proud of it, but i FLED to my parents house a good 2 hours after i dropped him off at the airport. suddenly it was like the house i live in all the time, every day, was terrifying. the sun began to set and the light began to change and everything was eerie. those windows? scary. that wind? scary. the man who lives in the wooded mess that is my backyard? scary! (that man may or may not exist and is actually a cat, but just keep listening to my story will you?)

2011 was not the right year for me to grow up, and so, despite my independence and my stubbornness and the glory that is my DVR, to my childhood bedroom i fled.

this time around i wanted it to be different. i am, after all, 24 stinking years old, not to mention, someones MOTHER! so i decided to stay. for at least most of the 11 days he'd be gone. the man in my backyard be damned!

i spent the entire first day pep-talking myself and randomly texting people for reassurance. my motto for the afternoon was "i'm totally not going to get murdered tonight!"and isn't that just lovely? when it came time for bed i said my prayers (a few of them actually) and kissed my baby and hugged my pups and turned on my most trusted friend in the whole world, the food network.

before you judge me, let me just explain why the food network is your replacement husband when sleeping home alone with a defenseless baby to protect. the food network believes that the world is a safe and beautiful place. the food network never talks about the horrid things that are happening in your neighborhood these days (get off my television cable news!) and the food network, does not, under any circumstances, AIR THAT EXORCISM MOVIE PREVIEW. so help me! (one glimpse of that darn exorcism preview and i promise you i would have been done for.)

the food network is my partner in sleeping crime. (and also, i have this thing for bobby flay but that's not to be discussed.)

let's take a brief intermission for a glass of water and some eviegrams. check those lashes!

after a while (an hour? two? seven?) i miraculously fell asleep and when i awoke the next morning, i felt like shouting hallelujah to the heavens!! no nightmares! no waking up at 3am and doing that "i'm so scared i'm frozen" thing. no shenanigans whatsoever! it was a christmas miracle, indeed (and on a more serious note, an answer to sincere prayer).

since that night, my fear of sleeping alone has diminished and diminished until it's almost disappeared altogether. my family wanted me to come spend at least a few nights at their home before g returned, so i finally packed evie up on wednesday and headed south to stay with them, but i managed to put SIX NIGHTS of single sleeping under my belt first. and you might laugh, but for me, this is HUGE.

it feels good to look my fear in the face and say suck it. maybe my fear was irrational and immature (probably my fear was irrational and immature) but i still had to face it, head on, in order to remind myself that i can do things that scare me.

and thus, i give you, 

2012: THE YEAR OF DOING THINGS THAT SCARE ME.

1. i will read my scriptures every stinking day of this new year, because apparently spiritual growth scares me big time.

2. i will celebrate all that comes with being a wife and a mother and i will let go of negative distractions that prevent me from being all i can be in this role. i will cook healthy dinners as often as i can (no more pasta and salad every night! scary!). i will stay on top of our laundry piles and i will lovingly continue to pick my husbands shoes up off the floor, even though he is more than capable of doing so. (bless his heart.)

3. i will write about my life and my experiences (whether on this blog or elsewhere) without fear of judgement. i will trust in myself more. i will finish projects i have started and i will stop second guessing myself and by abilities. 2012 is the year in which i stop wondering what anyone else is thinking.

4. i will keep a budget and stay on top of our savings goals. BUDGETS! TERRIFYING!!

5. i will step outside my comfort zone when given the opportunity. i will say "yes, we would love to!" more often. i will make new friends and be better to the ones i already have. i will put myself out there. i will invite YOU to go to lunch and i will host a few gosh darn dinner parties already!

6. i will maybe, possibly, hopefully enjoy another pregnancy (not pregnant) even though my last one was physically and emotionally and entirely TERRIFYING.

7. i will continue to try to take good pictures (even though i'm no photographer), because i love it. i will continue to express my creativity on this blog (even though it's kind of a joke), because i love it. i will listen to justin bieber on pandora while cleaning my house, because i love it. i will go back to yoga class, even though i am afraid of looking rusty. i will compile our photos into an album. i will finish evie's baby book. i will give kisses on the mouth and say i love you and thank you daily.

8. i will not cut my my hair. in case you were wondering.

bring it, 2012. i'm ready.

best year ever.

Here's to 2011. My happiest year thus far. I am so sad to see it go...

In January, I was on bed rest at the hospital watching a lot of Greys and eating a lot of turkey sandwiches and crying a lot of tears. January was a hard, hard month for me. But soon enough Evie Jane was born and happily, she was healthy, and at the end of January we all went home together. Hallefreakingluiah!!

In February I learned how to be a mother, how to nurse, how to get up multiple times per night and sing little lullabies and clip little nails and I fell in love with my new life. I took Evs for her first little walk and finally ventured out of the house and we had a pretty rad Valentines Day. February was good.

In March baby Ella was born and Evs gained a homie for life. In March we also blessed our sweet baby, celebrated my 24th birthday and Evie had her first little photo shoot. She also started smiling and laughing and sleeping all the way through the night, bless her heart.

In April we welcomed Spring, caught baby's first little laughs on camera and celebrated Easter Sundee with the family. During this month I spent a lot of time taking Evs on little adventures and getting both of us dressed up for an afternoon at Target and I wrote a letter to my life (which is kind of weird).

In May I introduced Evie to the pool, hit up a few summer festivals downtown, celebrated my first Mama's day and made a list of ten things for your Monday. I also wrote this post in May which still makes me a little teary eyed and emotional when I read it.

In June Jon & Meg got married! I started and stopped a little photo challenge and we discovered that the Gateway is the best place to take an afternoon walk which led to an adventure in shopping. In June we celebrated G's first Fathers Day and Evie charmed Mitt Romney and I really liked this post Evie wrote for the blog.

In July baby Jackson was born! I started painting again and we took a little getaway to Park City with the family and celebrated the 4th of July and a few reasons to really love that husband of mine.

In August G took a not so little trip to China and I survived 2 weeks without him by distracting myself with family, friends and a lot of really dumb movies he would never watch. I spent a few weeks at my parents home and took a whole bunch of photos of the house I grew up in. August was also the month my blog broke.

In September the leaves started to change and I celebrated the return of my fall wardrobe! G and I celebrated 5 happy years as man and coolest wife. We took Evs to the zoo, tried to take the doctor's suggestions to feed her solids seriously and I wrote a few musings about the Avenues, my Grandma and the end of summer. In September I also got a stye, in my right eye, and not to mention, a ROOT CANAL!!

Hello!! In October we went to freaking London!!! We met the Queen and rode in the cutest taxis and spent two amazing weeks abroad. In October we survived 20 hours of travel with a baby and she learned to clap and I compiled a list of must-do fall festivities. In October the G-man also turned the big bad 32 and we went on our favorite date ever and Evie was a ladybug for Halloween. I really loved October. Like, a lot.

In November we gave thanks and cut down a Christmas tree and got a glorious case of the pukes. Evs was sick a lot in November, so it ended up being a quiet month spent mostly at home in pajamas. In November it also became far too apparent to me that I was losing a baby and gaining a toddler and I started to mourn the loss of my newborn and wish to do it all again.

In December I still felt that way. But also Santa Claus came and we had ourselves a wonderful holiday and Evie and Ella put on a little show. In December we went to dance recitals and Christmas tree festivals and Evie somehow cut a bazillion new teeth. December was full of family and treats and trips to the mall and reminders of what a blessed little life I am leading.

So, yes. I loved 2011. Loved every delicious little moment. It's hard to imagine a better year, but that's the good thing, right? Things just keep evolving and changing and if we have the right perspective, things just keep getting better, too.

cheers to twenty twelve!

I'm excited to see what you have in store for this little fam. So far we have trips to Dubai (g), New Delhi (g), Russia (all of us), North Carolina (all of us) and Newport (all of us) on the agenda. I have a feeling this year will be full of adventure.

christmas day twenty eleven.

After our own little Christmas morning at home we headed out for Christmas brunch and church with my fam. Later we got packed up and headed up the mountain to spend the rest of the weekend at the cabin. We had such a great day being with both sides of our family and we loved every minute. Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without all of these faces and memories and time spent with each of them. Love both of our families so so much and we loved our first Christmas with little baby Evs.

 

This was a sweet moment with Pansey. You can't really tell but she is choking back tears in this picture over a reading lamp my Mom and I chose for her a few weeks ago at Ikea. It was something practical that my Mom knew she needed and who would have thought it would mean so much to her. I love that sweetest Grandma of mine so much.

 

i love this picture. i imagine she is thinking "man he is so much bigger than i am?!"

and at the cabin....

the cutest rocking moose you ever did see. perfect for cabin, yes?!

babies who stand.

he's too old for that.

And now i officially declare Christmas twenty eleven closed. Will someone please come get rid of all the Christmas clutter in my living room and do all of my returns/exchanges for me?? thankyousomuch.

Ps. I don't think I took enough pictures. Next year someone please remind me to snap one or two! Gosh.