love note.

dear kris,

you are my musical soul mate. when you sang "falling slowly" i maybe watched the performance 10 times in a row & almost cried. and just so you know, my 2 yr old niece thinks you are my husband when she sees you on tv. and my husband's a hottie, which makes you a hottie by comparison. congratulations on that.

ps. please tell your wife to wear a better dress tomorrow. this is her 15 minutes of fame...no tacky prom dresses allowed.


dear adam,

i don't get you. why does everyone like you? i keep thinking you are going to lose your voice from all the SHRIEKING and SCREAMING but each week i am disappointed to see that you are going to yell at me YET AGAIN. me & g trudge through your performances & sometimes fast forward when we've had enough. i really hope you lose tomorrow. sorry to be harsh, but you are not my cup of tea.

ps. quit yelling at me!

dear hills.

i thought i was over you.

i haven't watched you in months...haven't cared to. somewhere in between the bad acting & obvious drama, i got over you.

g was thrilled, of course. he couldn't believe it. was my addiction of so many years really over?

we both relished in the thought.

i don't know how you did it, how you seduced me again? it might have been that ridiculous trailer that kept popping up during my real world episodes or the gorgeous new promotion pics floating around cyber space. but, i see you & i feel giddy again, the way i did when we first fell in love all those years ago.

are heidi & lauren really going to make up? is audrina seriously hooking up with brody? what the H happened to justin bobby?

i miss you, hills. i'm ready to come back. hopefully you'll welcome me with open arms & won't make me regret my decision. either way, i'll see you tonight...just don't tell my other lover.

lady hookers.

ps. what's up with all the average looking, trashy, dramatic & man-face bachelorettes this year?
g & i watched last night & we only swooned over a couple of them.

(yes, it is common for my husband & i to discuss the hotness of other women together).

we both agreed that if we were jason, we would have knocked out a solid 12 women last night.

can you imagine??
"ugghhh chris, instead of eliminating 2 tonight,

i've decided to go ahead and get rid of 12 of them"

it would have been the best moment ever.

but really, is that seriously the best they could do???

Please...Please...

Do not miss the season finale of The Office tonight! It is supposed to be "shocking" and I will need plenty of friends to discuss and re-discuss the Jam moments with. Are we going to get a proposal (i hope so), a promotion (possibly), a death (no!)?

Prepare to be shocked!

plastic. surgery. people.

It is simply a question of how much. How much plastic surgery? How much nipping and tucking and injecting and sucking and stapling and prodding does it take to look like Shayne's mother? And how much lip liner for that matter? I need to know.

She made me afraid of tanning beds. Something 15 months working at Hollywood Tans and dozens of leather-skinned UV ray addicted skin cancer patients could not do.

Seriously people, I couldn't get over it. The lip liner, the boobs, the eyeliner, the furniture! I know you were all thinking the same thing last night. Just fess up and admit it.

Or, am I the only one?

I must talk about the Bachelor...

I was going to try not to vent about the Bachelor on my blog, but cute Chelsea's new post just took the words out of my mouth & now I just can't keep my mouth shut.

I just need to say that I couldn't be more thrilled that Matt got rid off Robyn & Marshana because I couldn't stand either of them! Finally!! I was completely blown away, because he always seemed very into Robyn, but I loved seeing her get crushed (mean, I know). She was so cocky & arrogant, though, I felt like she deserved it. And what about her face during the rose ceremony? She always looked like such a snot.

And Marshana! Uggghh...How she lasted that long is beyond me. It was clear from day 1 that her & Matt had NOTHING in common. And their kiss grossed me out so much I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit. I screamed for joy when they both got eliminated...I mean I literally screamed for joy...at my TV...it was pathetic.

And Shayne. I like Shayne. She won me over on her first one-on-one date with Matt when she admitted to being completely materialistic and high maintenance. I loved her honesty. She is probably the only girl in Bachelor history who hasn't tried to be something she isn't in order to win. She is funny & sarcastic too, which I love...I am rooting for her.

I also love Meeps (aka Amanda) because she has the meeps, which is hilarious. She seems genuine and sincere, but I am not sure if she is outgoing enough for Matt, but still, she has the meeps! That is so awesome!

Anyways, I feel like all my reality TV dreams have now come true after last nights episode! Now, let's just hope Matt does us all a favor & actually chooses someone in the end. I can't hate on Brad, though, he was my favorite Bachelor of all time (again, because of his honesty) but I was so sad to see Jenni crushed. Loved her.

Thanks for listening! I feel so much better!!!

tonight's the night!

we better get a hot jam moment to thank us for sticking with them through the strike.

eh, eh, eh?!