where have i been?

well friends, 2009 has been the hardest year of my life. don't get me wrong here, i am not complaining about it or asking for your sympathy or even saying that it is a bad thing, it's simply a fact.

2009. hardest year of my life.

this year started out with the sadness of losing my sweet grandpa and it is ending with the harsh realities of losing my job. i can't say i didn't see it coming, though, because i did. and in fact, i even told my husband that i was pretty sure i would be laid off by the end of the year the day before it actually happened. for this internal warning and gut feeling, i can only be grateful, because it reminds me that everything happens for a reason.

i have lost a lot in 2009. there have been set-backs, hardships, sad days and sleepless nights and yet, i have gained. i recognize my blessings so much more now, i feel more appreciative of all the goodness in my life, i feel more connected to my Savior and mostly, i feel more capable of facing my trials head on and coming out on top. i feel like i have grown so much.

i am thankful for this hard year and for the lessons i have learned. i am grateful for opposition in all things. i am grateful that everything happens for a reason and i am grateful to know that regardless of what trials come my way, i am never alone. i know that everything happens for a reason and i truly believe that sometimes we just need to be reminded to let go of the wheel in order to end up where we belong.

away.

as you've probably guessed, i won't be blogging for a little while. i have lots to share, but i need to survive this week {and finals} first. i'll be back when life calms down again.

xo.

winter wonderland.

here are a few snapshots from our lovely little thanksgiving weekend at the cabin. because g takes a practice lsat every saturday morning, this is the first time we have been able to spend a whole weekend up there. g decided to ditch the test this week & his slacking off was well worth it, because we had the best time. so, in case you are wondering what one might do at the cabin, please refer to the following pictures...

first, we rode up past our cabin and cut down a real live christmas tree. so magical! i've never done that before & now i see why people do it. because of this experience, i sort of feel like me & g need a real christmas tree this year...thoughts? please know that toby's sweatshirt was specifically chosen in support of the utes. toby is a ute.

our enormous tree had to basically be cut in half in order to fit through the door of our cabin. well worth it.

 

may i please tell you a story about this picture? one night g wore a flannel shirt to a party we had with our friends & the flannel + the scruff made our friends tease him that he looked like a lumberjack. and now he is g, the lumberjack in certain circles. so when i saw this sight i had to take a picture for obvious reasons. please let it be known that i think the lumberjack is hot.

on saturday night, we rode the polar express to the north pole to meet santa clause. and can i just tell you that i was just as excited as makayla for this event. the polar express is one of my all-time favorite christmas books & i couldn't wait to see the train. i think the story is so magical & have so many fond memories of listening to the recording of that book on christmas eve with my family (have you ever heard the recording of the polar express. no? please go buy it immediately. it makes me cry). and, just for the record, "michaela" is not the correct spelling of this little nugget's name. good thing she can't read yet or the elf who wrote it might have gotten a firm, "oh no you didn't!".

i promise the train was much cuter than this picture suggests. we were in the very back.

during the day, we went four wheeling to the TOP OF A MOUNTAIN! and when we got to the top, g was so excited he yelled that exact phrase exactly like ron burgendy does in anchorman.

i asked g to take this picture of me because i wanted to document the coldest i have ever been in my entire life. i am not even kidding you. in. my. life. i had to work really really hard to not be a drama queen and demand that we turn back and go home immediately, because i was an idiot and i didn't bring snow pants to the cabin, so i was wearing my $20 skinny jeans from urban outfitters that are really more like leggings because i have worn them so thin. and i possibly wanted to DIE because i couldn't feel my lower half at all, but it was FUN!

we had a wonderful time at the new cabin and we can't wait to go back soon! and when i say soon, i mean like, tomorrow if possible. seriously, folks, how can we make that happen?
merry early december!!

{rip} little red samsung.

you know what i think is really fun?

put your cell phone in your back pocket and forget about it & then go to the bathroom a few hours later. just wait, because here comes the fun part! as you sit down your phone will most definitely FALL INTO THE TOILET and be broken forever, even if you take it out immediately & google every life-saving trick imaginable.

try it!

i think it's really fun!

the best days of my life.

i planned to spend thanksgiving eve watching g study and maybe doing some studying of my own, but for whatever reason, he came home from work wanting to play instead. on a whim, i decided we would have our own little pre-thanksgiving dinner (minus the great food) with just the two of us. i pulled out the candles and we ate dinner by candlelight & talked about what we were grateful for. even though it was cheesy and we laughed through the entire thing, eating dinner in the dim light of our regular old dining room still felt special.

later, we headed down to the gateway to catch a movie and check out some of the downtown christmas lights. as we drove home that night, i couldn't help but think to myself that even though both of us are looking forward to a bigger family some day, i know i will look back on these last 3 years and think about how much fun we had and how in love we were. i have made some of the best memories of my life on random nights like these with my husband and i am lucky to have had him all to myself for a while.

christmas is here!

we spent the weekend at the cabin with family & we got to cut down a real christmas tree for the very first time! more pictures coming soon...i love this season!

ps. the tree was almost 20 ft. tall originally & is about 13 now...nuts!

thankful.

• i am thankful for g. i am thankful to be so in love with him and i am thankful he is in love with me.
• i am thankful for eternal marriage and eternal families. this year, i am especially thankful that i know i will see my grandpa again some day.
• i am thankful for my mother. i am thankful she is my "person" and that i am hers. i am thankful for my dad, for the good example he is to me.
• i am thankful for my brothers for being my best friends and providing the comic relief in my life.
• i am thankful for sweet sister-in-laws, funny brother-in-laws and wonderful in-laws.
• i am thankful for morgan, makayla, kate and annie.
• i am thankful for my beautiful friends, new and old.
• i am thankful for dance parties in the kitchen and driving with the windows down.
• i am thankful for rainstorms and city lights.
• i am thankful to be able to see 4 temples from my bedroom window.
• i am thankful for all the times i laugh until i cry.
• i am thankful for the pups, because they make it hard to come home grumpy.
• i am thankful for a warm, cozy home in a beautiful city. i am thankful for christmas trees and forgotten carols and the cocoamotion. i am thankful for snow falling outside.
• i am thankful for pureology shampoo and d&g light blue.
• i am thankful for the scriptures, for conference talks, for my testimony, for prayer, for my Savior.
• i am thankful i just know.
• i am thankful for this past year and for the trials we have gone through. i am so grateful to be able to look back and realize how much i have grown as a result and all the ways i am stronger now.
• i am thankful for my bed and for my little family and for a bright, hopeful future ahead.

happy thanksgiving!

head shots.

i think j bub should be a full-time pup model. he is the most photogenic dog currently living. every time i whip out my camera he follows me around the house and waits for his turn in the spotlight. i would like nothing more than for him to model for kibbles n' bits full time so i can retire and be his full-time stage mother.

and please don't think i don't love little toby. i promise i do. but, his pictures usually turn out something like this....

flirty.

this weekend was the much anticipated birthday bash for all of our 30 year old husbands. i can't believe g is 30. judging by his behavior (and his behavior with certain friends) sometimes i swear he's still 12, but then 9pm rolls around and i find him dead asleep in the office and suddenly he is oh so 30 again.

anyways, 30. we celebrated with an awesome cake & a hilarious slide show. and there may or may not have been a few too many pictures of my husband's bare bum involved, but that's another story for another time.

these boys are pretty hilarious together and i'm glad they're still close. even more so, i'm glad they all married lovely women that i now have the pleasure of calling my friends. thanks to all of you ladies for helping throw this bash together. can we do it more often, please?

dear life.

(i've noticed a couple of friends writing letters to their life lately & thought it was a fun idea. and since another friend pointed out that i am constantly putting "dear" in front of everything i say, i thought i'd give it a try. here's my letter to life)

dear bare minerals makeup: i don't know how i ever lived without you. and now, the thought of using anything but you makes me ill. thank you.

dear j bub: i only tell you this because i love you, but your rolls are out of control. you might want to start incorporating some cardio in your poop-eating routine, my love.

dear linguistics professor: thanks for reminding me that i am in COLLEGE now and no studying + no effort will not always equal an A.

dear linguistics professor: i take it back. i was completely satisfied with my slacker ways and you've ruined everything. thanks for nothing.

dear computer at work: watch it. i may or may not throw you through the window one of these days if you keep freezing on me all the time.

dear snuggie, cocoamotion and gossip girl: thanks for keeping me company while g studies his life away. you are almost as comforting as his arm around me. almost.

dear gjo: you looked really cute in your pinstripe dress shirt and REAL zip-up yesterday. i am jealous of everyone who gets to hang out with you from 7am - 6pm each day.

dear lsat exam: please go easy on him! you have no idea how you have consumed our lives for the past 4 months.

dear trial: i am finally feeling grateful for you. really, i am.

dear christmas ornaments in the garage: only 2 more days and we'll be together again! get ready to shine!

dear life: i love you.