baby daddy.

is there anything better than a baby daddy who is also a wonderful father?

no, i say.
there is nothing better.

happy father's day, to my sweet g.
we adore you.

photo challenge. day two.

what i wore today:

red striped top: target, yo

brown belt: target, yo

black skinny jeans: urban outfitters

grey lace ups: urban outfitters

see ya for day three on monday, peeps.

30 day photo challenge. day one.

my friend introduced me to this photo challenge. i thought i'd play along (and perhaps figure out how to use my camera, while i'm at it?).

day one calls for a self-portrait. those are terribly difficult to take, don't you think? i got a few that are far more flattering of me than this one (and a few that are actually in focus), but if i'm being honest rather than vain, i think this photo represents me the best.

play along, why don't you? (a few of you are rad photographers and i would love to see what you come up with)

those summer nights.

earlier this evening, i heard something walking around on my roof.
the wuss in me panicked slightly. a stalker? a serial killer? a neighborhood hooligan?!

it wasn't a hooligan.
it was my friend, mckenzie.

i was relieved to see her.
we laughed.

she was up there taking pictures of the summer night.
that sounded like a good idea to me, so i came inside and took this picture through my dirty window.

someday, when we don't live here any longer, i know that i will miss those windows and sitting on the lawn with mckenzie and her kids the very most.

if she could talk.

hi my name is evie and i might never take a nap AGAIN!!! but that's okay because i'm exceptionally cute and i like to say "ahhhahhhahhhhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" all day long and roll around everywhere. more fun than napping, right?!

the other day, in sacrament meeting, i decided to say "ahhhhahhhahhhhhhhhh" really loudly during all the quiet parts of the meeting so everyone in the chapel could hear. my mom tried really hard to make me stop, but i just love to talk, so she hung her head and laughed in embarrassment, instead. i'm so funny, right?! do you want to hear all my noises?

ahhhahahhhhhhhhhhhhh
bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
oooooohhhhh
owwwowwwowww
oh oh oh oh oh
waahhhhh!!!!!!
cough, cough, cough

this is my friend, sophie the giraffe. sophie the giraffe belongs in my mouth. my fingers belong in my mouth. YOUR fingers belong in my mouth. that blanket belongs in my mouth!!

what is that you're holding?! is it edible? what does it taste like?

PUT IT IN MY MOUTH!!!

we like them warm with caramel sauce on top.

I used to say that I would never nurse my baby to sleep. And most of the time, I don't. I mean, that is never ever my intention. Except on days like today when I am trying to get her to nap somewhere other than her crib and she is crying and crying and crying and nothing is working, so I think to myself "Well, maybe she just didn't eat enough???" so I try to nurse her, just a little and then BAM...She is out cold.

Just nursed my baby to sleep, right? Woops.

I used to say that I wouldn't let my baby's nap schedule rule my life. And it doesn't. Except it does. Because boy do I get stressed out when we aren't home for her to take them. And I try to get her to nap other places, really I do. Except she is acquiring quite the little personality these days and she really doesn't want to. And sometimes it's just easier to let her win.

I used to say that I would never eat more than 2 ghirardelli brownies per day and I would still make time to paint my fingernails. Except I had one earlier, and one just now and a couple more sound good when I finish writing this post, don't you think? And while we're having this discussion, do you know what happens the second you finish painting your nails, friends?! The baby wakes up and they get ruined, so why bother? My nails look awful.

Before I became a Mother, I used to say that I would never do a lot of things that I currently do. Because back then I didn't know what it felt like to be a Mother. I didn't know what it felt like to love someone like that. To hurt for someone else like that. And now I do. And it changes everything.

I still wake up every day with the best of intentions, but sometimes I can't help but feel like I am breaking all the rules. Because I love her more than I can describe. Because it is so much harder to listen to her cry than I ever could have imagined. Because I just want to chill out on the couch for a minute sometimes and "hey, you'd rather lie with me right now than eat your dinner?"

"Sure, whatever, no problem".

Sometimes I think about these things and wonder if I'm messing up. I want to do just this one thing in my life right. I want her to respect me and obey me, and yet, I want her to think I'm the shiz. I want her to look at me the way I look at my Mother. And I can't help but wonder if she will.

This evening as I sat with my Mom and confessed all of this-confessed to the uncertainly in my decision making, confessed to the accidental nursing to sleep, confessed to the feelings of guilt-She looked at me and said "Jess, the one thing you learn as a Mother is that at some point or another, you eat every word you've ever said".

And she's right, you know. I'm eating my words these days.

They taste like brownies.

at my house.

our thursday was pretty eventful...

first evie watched a little bit of baby Einstein while i got ready, ate breakfast, fed the dogs...you know. do your babies watch baby Einstein? should i feel bad that mine loves it? we only watch once per day, but she squeals and stares like it's the greatest 40 minutes of her life. she's learning stuff, yes? i mean, i think that part where the bears put on rain coats and dance with umbrellas is definitely educational.

after baby Einstein, we hit up play group and saw some of my dearest dears. evie played on the swings, went down the slide, ran in circles, the usual....or maybe she just sat there, i can't remember. we might be too young for play group. we might not care. see ya next time, friends!

then scotty-too-hottie-for-his-naughty-body came over. we sat on the lawn and i told him stories about all of my neighbors. some of them like to sit on their porches and smoke illegal substances in the evenings. that didn't happen where i grew up. i think its just an avenues thing.

while we were outside some neighborhood hooligans walked by and tried to befriend bubba, but he barked ferociously and tried to scare them off. "careful, he's mean!" i said and they ran away. i was kidding, you know, but hopefully our car doesn't get egged again tonight (true story!).

anyways, later we talked about "16 & pregnant" and i took this picture of him. i am not 16, in case you were wondering. sometimes when i forget to wear my wedding ring people give me that look like "are you a teen mother!?" and i feel inclined to say "listen up, lady, i'm 24 and married, so shut it!"

after scott left, evie requested to please play in her jumpy thing. this takes significant work to achieve, seeing as she is bite-sized and her feet don't touch the ground, nor does her body fill the seat, but hey-we make it work.

then we lounged on the lawn until it got too windy/cold to lounge on the lawn any longer. i cursed the utah weather like i always do and took my bite-sized baby inside.

now the baby is napping and i have a few minutes to spare before the husband gets home and i have to attend to my wifely duties (dinner, cleaning, baths, you know).

not bad for a thursday. (did you know that thursdays used to be my favorite day of the week? that was back when i knew what day of the week it was, of course. now any day when it is sunny and something is written on the calender is my favorite day of the week.)

what about you, friends? good day?

adventures in shopping.

I've been making a lot of runs back and forth to the Gateway over the past few weeks in order to update my wardrobe and welcome summer (Summer! Welcome! May I pour you a glass of lemonade?!). And it's been a bit daunting in some ways, since I can't figure out my sizes now that I'm a Mama (you, too?). I mean, I had a baby. And now I'm nursing that baby. And my boobs are, well, let's just not go there. Things are different these days...I mean I thought I was a medium, but now I guess I'm a small except sometimes I'm a large??

And then I bought these shoes. These beautiful, perfect shoes that proceeded to fall apart in front of my adoring eyes 48 hours after I purchased them and boy, was that a buzz-kill. "Don't wimp out on me, shoes!!" I pleaded, but they simply couldn't keep it together and now they are dead and I am wondering what in the world $39 can buy a person these days, because apparently, not a pair of shoes that can survive dinner and a movie with a few steps in between. Whatever.

The same day I purchased those sad shoes, I also happened to experience a Christmas miracle, so perhaps let's discuss that! You see, once upon a time I owned this pair of jeans that I loved more than any girl has ever loved a pair of jeans before. And they were tight (but not too tight) and dark (but not too dark) and they made my husband slap my butt when I walked past. Which is important, don't you think? When one finds a pair of jeans like these jeans, one wears them into oblivion and loves them eternally. Am I right?

Which is what I did. And which is why, when they died, I tried to immediately re-purchase them only to find out that they had been discontinued! Forever! And I really questioned life in that moment.

Flash forward an entire year and I am browsing Urban Outfitters for a new pair of jeans, when into my hands falls the exact pair I had once owned over a year ago. I didn't believe it at first, it seemed too good to be true, but alas, there they were. MY pair of dark denim beauties! And there was only one pair remaining! One pair that had been haphazardly shoved under a pile of full-priced denim threads and forgotten, or perhaps hidden?- who knows. All I knew was that this moment was meant to be. Everything was there, the denim-dark, the tightness-just right, only one factor remained-the size. So, I closed my eyes tight and braced myself for the worst-only to peak at the label slowly and find that they were, in fact, MY SIZE!!

Your astonished at this point, I know, but it gets better, because moments later I would discover that these jeans, these beautiful, perfect jeans were also listed for 50% off. Yes, that's right. No more than $20, my sweethearts were. And it was in that moment that I cried real tears (No, I didn't. That was a lie. Can we still be friends?)

Obviously, I bought them. And obviously, I'm wearing them. And obviously, my husband was just as thrilled when I called him with the news. "A Christmas Miracle!" he proclaimed! Or maybe it was, "Jess, quit spending my money"-I'm fuzzy on the details-all I know is he certainly did slap my butt that night when I put them on.

I am Jessica and I have faith that me and my jeans can be together forever. Amen.

i say "yes, please" to paris.

just found out about this giveaway via my friend, mckenzie. so of course, i am entering too, because well, what if i win!?

link here.

just because.

Last week I mastered the fine art of acquiring flowers RANDOMLY from the man in my life. Yes, that's right. Flowers. In a vase on my coffee table. You know, "just because".

Want to know how I did it, so you can do it, too?!

Read on, friends!

{First, I should probably preface this by admitting that yes, this is a big deal and no, he doesn't buy me flowers "just because". And while we're at it, I do still think he loves me and fine, and am taking him out of the "Mormon Bloggers Best Husband in THE UNIVERSE" contest, because obviously husbands who don't supply flowers weekly "just because" need not apply!}

Moving on...

G believes flowers make a poor gift. "They die!" he says. "They're pretty!" I respond! "They're overpriced!" he cries, "They smell wonderful!" I argue! My husband, G, (in case you haven't already noticed) is all things practical and no things frilly. "Give a gift that dies?!" he wonders, "How rude!" G would love to get you something that is well-made and well-thought out and will last you a long, long time, preferably the rest of your life. Flowers need not apply.

And that's okay. I mean, I don't feel too duped (even though I ALWAYS remind him that he sent me flowers at work "just because" while we were dating with a note that said something like "Dearest Love of my Life, I'm going to Lake Powell without you and I will miss you so much I might die a slow and tragic death!" and whoa! That was seriously romantic of him, now wasn't it?

But last week I needed flowers. My house was dreary. The weather was awful. The baby had shots in her thighs and proceeded to cry alligator tears for the following 7 hours and you guys, I knew flowers could make it better. I just knew it.

So I set out to get them.

The first step in acquiring flowers "just because!" is to send the husband to a place where flowers are sold. This is tricky, because how are you going to get him to a florist shop!? I pondered and prayed about this question and received no answers. It can't be done. You could choose a grocery store, but the flowers you will receive in return will be ugly and small and may or may not smell like carrots. And that's no fun for anyone, now is it?

So, where to send him? The answer to this question is the same answer to almost all questions you might have in your lifetime: Costco. Get your husband to Costco! Send him for bread and avocados and Aussie Bites (because boy are they good) and cross your fingers Costco's flower selection that day consists of those glorious sunflowers that are as large as your head.

Once you've sent him on his way, brace yourself because here comes the tricky part. Your timing in this eneadvor is crucial. You must call him precicely while he is standing next to the flowers in order for his train of thought to lead him straight where you want him to go. It works best to imagine him going through the motions of his errand. Imagine him staring at the electronics for a good 5 or 10 (or 30?) minutes...Imagine him hunting down the bread and the avacados and those delicious Aussie Bites. Imagine him rounding the corner and stealing some samples (you get the idea...)

Once he has reached the flower section IN YOUR MIND! pick up the phone! Call that boy and chit chat for a moment or two and then start to lament about how long your day was and how many hairs you lost in the shower that day and mention (again) that Oprah is no longer there to comfort you at 4pm and isn't that tragic?! Once he is feeling sufficiently sympathetic you must deliver this line: "I just need something small to cheer me up"*

And then wait.

Because it is in this moment that he will look up and see the flowers. Those flowers will be staring him in the face and the hallelujah chorus will begin. "I am the answer!" they will sing! "Bring me home to her!" they will cry and suddenly he will feel all heroic because Look! The answer! Right there in front of him! (what are they odds?!)

Within 20 minutes or so he will return home with the flowers of your dreams in hand and a satisfied smile on his face, because look how thoughtful he is and didn't he just make your day?! This is the part where you should smile and bat your eyes and possibly go weak in the knees and fall into his arms proclaiming "Flowers!! I'm shocked! Why did you bring me these?"

And the answer to that question will most definitely be, "just because".

*If that line doesn't work try "Some flowers might make it better..."**
**If that line doesn't work try "Buy me flowers. Now. Please" ***
***If that line doesn't work I've got nothing.