the pups live!

here is proof that the pups are still being loved and cared for, and even taken to the park! whhhaatt!?

thanks to my husband, i also have proof that both dogs went to the bathroom on this particular afternoon, too. why one photographs such an act is beyond me? don't worry, i'll spare you.

i have no shame in admitting that i sat on the grass with my babe the entire time.

and by the way, did you know that brad is leading a double life?!

does anyone remember when it was warm enough to go to the park? we obviously have been in the past few weeks, but now i have no recollection of anything other than snow! there is 8 feet of snow at the cabin right now. serious.

first walk.

 i've been cleared for exercise again, so yesterday miss evie and i took our first neighborhood walk to celebrate. it was 40 degrees outside (not -10) but evie chose to bundle like this regardless. i'm pretty sure she was sweating, but i am a paranoid first time mother and i own that title proudly. it was the shortest walk of my life, but i am still recovering from a c-section and evie is still recovering from being born (and life in general), so we were pretty pleased with our effort.

also, the avenues is probably not the best place to live if you would like to feel good about your fitness/exercise regimen. especially if you live on my street, where you can watch thousands of dedicated athletes run, sprint, bike, and ski (yes) in front of your house all day long from the comfort of your couch.

not that i would know anything about that.

month one.

4 weeks old.

 i realize i am going overboard with the evie pictures & that you guys are sick of seeing them, but i can't promise it will be ending any time soon. this little lady has completely stolen my heart.

life.

g didn't get me anything for valentines day this year.

i didn't get him anything either.

it's not that we don't love each other or that we haven't in years past

it's just that evie is still too little to go shopping with mama

and well, i don't really know what g's excuse is, but i accept it.

he came home from work with chinese takeout from our favorite place

but the baby was fussy and really wanted to be fed

so i had to scarf instead of enjoy.

and during the meal when we got to what is usually the best part (walnut shrimp) 

we were both horrified to find the dish tasted completely different

and completely awful

the shrimp had gone bad.

i spit it out and g called the restaurant to complain

his heart was practically broken

walnut shrimp=his one true love.

by now the baby was really crying

so i left to feed her and then handed her to g so i could make a mcdonalds run

i returned home with a huge diet coke and a mcflurry to share

dinner of champions.

we watched the bachelor side by side (peace out mm!)

and ate our treats...stuffing ourselves since dinner sucked

later we exchanged cards

we both chose one from my stash of blank cards i always keep on hand.

no hallmark greeting, just honest, heartfelt words

and i actually managed to cry a little (i blame it on motherhood)

but you might have too, his words were so nice.

we sat in the living room while evie slept

and enjoyed the city lights and some bad tv 

then evie had a blowout

and i knew it was time for bed.

i told him i loved him & he said the same

i rocked our baby for a minute and then climbed into bed

it was the most uneventful valentines day we've ever spent together

it was one of the best.

my loves.

i am more in love this year than ever before.
i am in love with this little family of mine.
i am in love with my evie jane.
and i am in love with her daddy.
so glad she came along and made me love him even more.

 happy valentines day to lovers everywhere!
 
{and even though they are pictured i have to be honest and admit that i am not so in love with the pups. sorry peeps, but the truth is they have gotten annoying. really, really annoying. but i'm sure i'll fall in love with them again someday?...let's hope.}

pouty little lips.

 i almost laughed out loud when evie's pediatrician suggested we refrain from kissing her on the lips. i mean has he seen her lips? not. possible.

we have been loving these first few weeks together. there have been lots of learning moments, of course, but moments like these make it pretty easy to be happy.

the past two weeks...

• evie decided that food is good after all and proceeded to gain almost a pound in 2 weeks
• g stayed home with us every day and became the official burp boy of the household
• i went out to lunch at an actual restaurant (without the beeb) for the first time in 2 months!
• evie girl attended her first bridal shower & met lots of other ladies
• i had my first diet coke in almost 7 months (what?!)
• it tasted like dirt
• i plan to try again
• ev started playing a fun little game called "see how many diapers i can soil in one changing" wherein she continually pees and poops in her fresh diapers just after the messy one has been taken off. her record so far is 4. we're pretty proud
• speaking of that, g has gone from a man who had never changed a diaper before to a man who has changed at least 5 billion
• i have laughed and cried and cringed at all the brutal realities of nursing for the first time (why doesn't anyone ever tell you these things!?)
• i've also fallen a bit in love with nursing my baby. what can i say, i'm a freak.
• evie has been babysat a few times by her nana who insists on watching her & forces g and i out of the house and into the real world. 
• and by the real world i mean "babies r us" because, besides lunch, that's pretty much the only place we have gone.
• we have lovingly nicknamed our baby girl "one-eyed willy" (not really) due to the fact that she likes to open only one eye at a time only.
• and we have both fallen hard for our little one-eyed girl. like madly, deeply in love. but, i'm sure you could have guessed that.

meet evie.

 our baby girl

evie jane olsen
was born on 1.21.11
5 lbs. 15 oz.
18 inches long

we've only known her for 6 days and already i cannot imagine life without her. her name is pronounced eh-vee (not eve-ee) and we think it suits her perfectly. after all, she has been evie to me all along. so far her little spirit is happy and content and we feel like the luckiest parents on the planet. she is perfectly healthy and didn't require any special care at the hospital. we know that many of you joined us in offering prayers on her behalf and we can't thank you enough for all that you did. our prayers were answered in the most magnificent way and now we have a beautiful baby girl to show for all of the sacrifice and hard moments this pregnancy required. it took about 5 seconds for her spirit to erase all the pain and heaviness my heart had been harboring over the last few months and now i feel so completely whole again. she has made every second of loneliness and sadness so worth it. we are in love.

home to me.

now that i'm nearing the end of this experience
my old life is calling out to me again
for so many days and weeks i would ignore the urge to think about it
i would pretend that home didn't exist
that this was my home
because thinking about everything i was missing was just too painful.

in the evenings, i would watch my little family leave and try hard not to think about where they were going.
night after night i would put on my slippers and walk them to the door and then watch my tall husband walk quickly away with two tiny pups running beside him.

sometimes the pups would turn around and see me watching them
their steps would inevitably stop at the sight of me still standing there
forcing g to drag them along until they turned the corner and i was out of sight

those moments made my heart hurt so badly it almost always brought tears to my eyes.
that man, those dogs, that life.
that is where i belong.
that is my home.

now that the end is in sight, all i can think about is my home
my little family
my simple, mundane, beautiful life.

i can't wait to have it all back again.

sure, i'll be stuck inside with my baby for a few months
and recovering for part of that time
but mark my words, i will be happy
i will be content
i will be grateful
i will be whole
because i will be home.

home to sleep in my bed
home to enjoy my surroundings
home to see my city lights through the window
home to take a bath
home to wake up next to my husband
home to fall asleep next to him, too
home to feed my dogs
home to make my house beautiful 
home to light candles in the evening
home to cook dinner
home to play pandora in the afternoon
home to enjoy sunshine through the windows
home to go for a walk
home to smell freshly washed sheets
home to let my spirit shine
home to be with my people
home to rock my baby 
home to be happy
home to belong

home is everything, because family is everything.
if i have learned one thing from 40 days in the hospital, it is that.
family is everything.

my daily life was so beautiful because it was filled with the people i love. we were not meant to face this life alone. a loving God gave us the divine gift of a family to fill our days with joy and peace. He orchestrated the family so you and i would have someone to fall asleep with, wake up with and do everything in between with. this is His gift to us. and like most of us, i didn't fully comprehend the significance of this gift until i found myself all alone.

my life is really beautiful. it was beautiful before, and even though it feels unbearable right now, it will be beautiful again.

your life is really beautiful, too.
please don't forget it.

bump watch.

here i am at almost 36 weeks posing for posterity in my lovely hospital bathroom! i haven't taken a picture of my belly since this whole debacle began, so today i decided i would find the time in my busy busy schedule to get it done. despite the hardships of my current situation, i still love being pregnant and i need to be better about documenting the good things, like no sickness, very few aches, and a ginormous belly that gets in my way and reminds me that i really am bringing a person into this world. i feel huge, but i really can't complain-i want this baby to get as big as possible considering the fact that she is coming out oh so very very soon. plus, i bet you didn't think it was possible to carry a baby that high. well, now you know!