my brothers are funny.

and i mean, really really funny. which is quite honestly my favorite thing about them. i'm not all that in to twitter, but i do check out my brother ryan's page, simply to chuckle over gems like these:

• My door key isn't working at my parents house anymore. Either the cold has frozen the lock or this is their way of telling me I'm adopted.
• My 4 year old niece told me to "grow up already" when we were playing Barbies. See if I ever bring my Barbies to her house again.
• I don't let my baby watch Barney the Dinosaur because it teaches children it's fine to hug and play with large carnivorous animals.
• Boss just called in sick. He said he was going to lay down for an hour so I shouldn't bother him. Like a good employee I plan to do the same
• My baby just threw my cell phone and hit me in the lip, & she thinks its so funny. I always thought children were innocent until I had one.

and finally, my personal favorite:

• People ask me why I'm not on Facebook. It's simple, I prefer to remember old girlfriends before they got ugly.

touché.