Wednesday, April 15, 2009
i'm supposed to be writing a talk right now.
g is sitting in the chair next to me, working diligently on preparing his talk for sacrament meeting (and if any of my family or friends are reading this, don't ask me when we are speaking...trust me, you won't be missing anything). every now & then he asks me a question about the format and the topics and i nod and agree and say something about "starting with a joke" and "ending with a testimony" and continue typing away. i'm writing my talk, too, you see....i am, i am.
toby magoo & mr. j bubba olsen are wrestling on the floor beside me. in case you are thinking to yourself, "wow! i wasn't even sure if she had dogs anymore, she NEVER mentions them!" i know i don't & i'm sorry...and yes, they are still alive despite several attempts i made to KILL THEM a few days ago when they brought solid poops in through the dog door (again) and scattered them in my living room.
j bubba is currently losing the wrestling match, which i'm sure has something to do with the fact that he can't keep up anymore. lately, g & i have been quite concerned about the weight of a certain mr. j bubba olsen and although we've tried to be positive, the real low point came when he tried to jump on our bed one night & failed after 10 straight attempts. now, j bubba is pretty much a portrait of "the little engine that could" in that he will try again and again and again until he succeeds. he fell flat on his face multiple times when he was a puppy before he ever made it to the bed. and once he finally landed on top, i'm pretty sure he shook his little paw at the sky & said "TAKE THAT!!".
needless to say, we were a proud mother & father.
so it's understandable that watching him finally give up and realize he could no longer catapult his rolly, polly body into the air and onto our bed, was a real rough moment for the whole family. i think g made have shed a tear or two.
i really can't tell you when he went from being slender to being a chub, but suddenly he was breathing heavily and not even attempting to jump on the bed & though i tried not to see it, even i, HIS MOTHER, couldn't ignore the rolls that were accumulating on his sides. we finally took him to the vet and as the scale tipped to a whopping 8 pounds i knew we had a problem. it was then, that the vet firmly sat me down and informed me that 8 pounds for a dog his size, was "moderately overweight and something to be concerned about".
now he weighs 14.
i don't know what to do with my little man. i assure you, i'm not one of those crazies that feeds my dogs hot dogs & bacon smothered in butter every night. the pups stick to a strict diet of healthy, organic dog food (seriously, the stuff's good. the petco salesman maybe told us it was 'even good enough for humans', so g & i maybe tasted it when we got home, just to be sure.) g has even tried to take him running a few times & we are a park-lovin', walk-takin' family. i'm convinced he must be sneaking out at night and smuggling girl-scout cookies from the pantry, because i rarely see him eat. closet eater, maybe? is he hiding out in the middle of the night, consuming all his calories while he cries into the tub of ice cream he's working on?
g is looking at me funny now & wondering how i am just typing this talk without any research, so i suppose i better
s l o w
d o w n
m y
t y p i n g . . .
more looks, more suspicion.
i'm out. (like shout!).
Monday, April 13, 2009
let's be honest.
i totally love (and use) my snuggie.
and g laughs the whole time.
seriously, what's so funny?
Thursday, April 9, 2009
migraine city.
That's where I've been lately.
And it sucks.
Any time I don't get a restful, full night of sleep, I wake up with a dreaded migraine. Usually the migraine lasts all day, and you can find me with my head down, rubbing my temples & asking to JUST DIE ALREADY! around 3 pm. Seriously, migraines are the worst.
I've always been somewhat of an insomniac, but lately I've taken things to a whole new level. I can't sleep...haven't been able to for the past week & a half. I don't know what's going on with me, but I toss and turn (seriously, good thing G is a deep, deep sleeper) 100 times until I finally find a position that is somewhat comfortable for the next 5 minutes until I need to turn again. It's torture.
As a bonus to the fact that I can't find a comfortable position, my brain decided to make it even more impossible for me to sleep, so it never shuts up. I think about everything; my life, my job, school, books I've read, quotes I've heard, things I need to do, things I want to remember, things I want to write about, song lyrics, poems, things I'm worried about, conversations I've had, the fact that I'm not asleep yet, etc, etc, etc. My brain is like one of those creepy self-help CD's G has on his I-POD (Tony Robbins anyone?). The words just keep coming and coming and coming and coming & I can't find the pause button.
Well, last night I'd finally had enough and decided to just go ahead and take a benadryl in an effort to knock myself out & finally get some much needed rest. I took a pill at 8 pm, hoping to be out at 8:30, but things didn't exactly work out that way. Somehow, I found myself standing in the hallway, head down, starting at the floor around 9pm. I have no idea how I got from the couch to the hallway, because I have no recollection of standing or walking, but all of the sudden, there I was, standing in the dark, staring at the floor. I then vaguely remember ending up in the bathroom (head down) for a solid 5 minutes until I somehow finally made it to bed where I collapsed in my clothes, completely sideways on the bed, until G finally came & turned me around. Speaking of G, where was he when I was standing at random places in our house, swaying slowly & running into walls? I have no idea. My guess is that he was sitting on the couch laughing uncontrollably (which is exactly what I would do in his position). Before I took the pill, I made G promise to carry me to bed if I fell asleep on the couch (for this exact reason) but he obviously failed to uphold his pinky promise.
And if you are wondering if I finally got a solid 8 hours of restful sleep, my answer to you is NO. I was out for maybe 3 hours and then I was up again. Up in the middle of the night, tossing and turning some more and now thinking about the fact that I had taken a benadryl that wouldn't wear off for a solid 24 hours (I'm a light weight when it comes to those suckers) and would be drowsy & dead the next day for nothing. And I am.
So please friends, this is my cry for help. I am extremely sleep deprived (and slightly drugged) right now & can't be held accountable for my actions. If you find me standing on your porch, or in a public restroom, or in the street...head down, eyes closed, please be a friend and help. I know it will be tempting to just sit back and watch (much like my husband chooses to do) but I really don't want to end up asleep in a hallway somewhere.
Thank you & goodnight.
And it sucks.
Any time I don't get a restful, full night of sleep, I wake up with a dreaded migraine. Usually the migraine lasts all day, and you can find me with my head down, rubbing my temples & asking to JUST DIE ALREADY! around 3 pm. Seriously, migraines are the worst.
I've always been somewhat of an insomniac, but lately I've taken things to a whole new level. I can't sleep...haven't been able to for the past week & a half. I don't know what's going on with me, but I toss and turn (seriously, good thing G is a deep, deep sleeper) 100 times until I finally find a position that is somewhat comfortable for the next 5 minutes until I need to turn again. It's torture.
As a bonus to the fact that I can't find a comfortable position, my brain decided to make it even more impossible for me to sleep, so it never shuts up. I think about everything; my life, my job, school, books I've read, quotes I've heard, things I need to do, things I want to remember, things I want to write about, song lyrics, poems, things I'm worried about, conversations I've had, the fact that I'm not asleep yet, etc, etc, etc. My brain is like one of those creepy self-help CD's G has on his I-POD (Tony Robbins anyone?). The words just keep coming and coming and coming and coming & I can't find the pause button.
Well, last night I'd finally had enough and decided to just go ahead and take a benadryl in an effort to knock myself out & finally get some much needed rest. I took a pill at 8 pm, hoping to be out at 8:30, but things didn't exactly work out that way. Somehow, I found myself standing in the hallway, head down, starting at the floor around 9pm. I have no idea how I got from the couch to the hallway, because I have no recollection of standing or walking, but all of the sudden, there I was, standing in the dark, staring at the floor. I then vaguely remember ending up in the bathroom (head down) for a solid 5 minutes until I somehow finally made it to bed where I collapsed in my clothes, completely sideways on the bed, until G finally came & turned me around. Speaking of G, where was he when I was standing at random places in our house, swaying slowly & running into walls? I have no idea. My guess is that he was sitting on the couch laughing uncontrollably (which is exactly what I would do in his position). Before I took the pill, I made G promise to carry me to bed if I fell asleep on the couch (for this exact reason) but he obviously failed to uphold his pinky promise.
And if you are wondering if I finally got a solid 8 hours of restful sleep, my answer to you is NO. I was out for maybe 3 hours and then I was up again. Up in the middle of the night, tossing and turning some more and now thinking about the fact that I had taken a benadryl that wouldn't wear off for a solid 24 hours (I'm a light weight when it comes to those suckers) and would be drowsy & dead the next day for nothing. And I am.
So please friends, this is my cry for help. I am extremely sleep deprived (and slightly drugged) right now & can't be held accountable for my actions. If you find me standing on your porch, or in a public restroom, or in the street...head down, eyes closed, please be a friend and help. I know it will be tempting to just sit back and watch (much like my husband chooses to do) but I really don't want to end up asleep in a hallway somewhere.
Thank you & goodnight.
Monday, April 6, 2009
dear hills.
i thought i was over you.
i haven't watched you in months...haven't cared to. somewhere in between the bad acting & obvious drama, i got over you.
g was thrilled, of course. he couldn't believe it. was my addiction of so many years really over?
we both relished in the thought.
i don't know how you did it, how you seduced me again? it might have been that ridiculous trailer that kept popping up during my real world episodes or the gorgeous new promotion pics floating around cyber space. but, i see you & i feel giddy again, the way i did when we first fell in love all those years ago.
are heidi & lauren really going to make up? is audrina seriously hooking up with brody? what the H happened to justin bobby?
i miss you, hills. i'm ready to come back. hopefully you'll welcome me with open arms & won't make me regret my decision. either way, i'll see you tonight...just don't tell my other lover.
conference weekend.
spinach quiche bubbling in the oven. snow drizzling slowly down. a pup on each lap, socks on my feet. pajamas all day & we don't care.
time with the family. time to relax. time to bake and i'm reminded, i love it.
words pour down & lift me up. i want to be better, know more, compare less.
i want to be grateful.
i want to to be kind.
i want to not get so irritated with that person at work who smacks her gum all day long and asks me how to double click.
i should just show her, with a smile & not grumble about it.
click, click
it's not so hard
i want to be a better version of myself.
i'm going to try to be.
and that, folks, is why i love my church.
time with the family. time to relax. time to bake and i'm reminded, i love it.
words pour down & lift me up. i want to be better, know more, compare less.
i want to be grateful.
i want to to be kind.
i want to not get so irritated with that person at work who smacks her gum all day long and asks me how to double click.
i should just show her, with a smile & not grumble about it.
click, click
it's not so hard
i want to be a better version of myself.
i'm going to try to be.
and that, folks, is why i love my church.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
something about nothing.
5:00.
Race home to start dinner. Hope for the best. Pull out the carrots, squash, broccoli, red pepper, cream, cheese, pasta. Chop, chop, chop, boil, plop, stir, season, simmer. The kitchen is thick with steam.
G & J bubba go for a run. Toby cries by the door the whole time they are gone. I give him a jerky, nothing. I try to play fetch, nothing. I fill a toy with peanut butter…nothing. He sits by the door and waits and cries. Every now and then, he gets up to search the house. He finds nothing and returns to wait. I think it’s sweet.
The boys return. I’m just finishing. G takes a shower. I wash the strawberries. G gets dressed. I set the table.
Dinner's Served.
The food tastes like it’s supposed to and I’m relieved. We eat slowly…letting the time pass. The dogs cuddle up on the rug, bathed in sunshine and close their eyes…content now that they are together. The sunlight fades, reflecting oranges and yellows and reds across the hardwood floor. G sits across the table & talks.
Soon, the dishes are loaded & the counters are wiped. We venture back out for a walk. A sweatshirt & a coat…both hoods on. It’s still cold. The dogs with their harness and a leash. I hold G’s hand and then shove ours into his coat pocket. We trade off holding the leash. Because his fingers are always cold. And mine never are.
We walk up & down, back & forth, past houses and buildings, and parked cars. Walk slowly down the middle of the road. Because some streets don’t have sidewalks & no one else is out tonight. The dogs lead the way…strolling side by side. The light fades and fades and fades, but lingers. Coloring the sky purple.
We end up at the park. Take the dogs off their leash. The gate clicks closed behind us and they disappear. Off in the distance they are running and pouncing and chasing. I have to squint to see them...to find them in the hazy light. We wander through the playground, across the monkey bars, down the slide. It’s getting darker now, the day slipping away. I can hear the dogs chasing and moving and growling, but I can’t see them anymore.
It’s time to go. We click the leash back on and continue…I’m not ready to leave. The last bit of sunlight evaporates into the sky and night has arrived…blue and brilliant. The city lights twinkle below us, pulsing and dancing. We stop to watch them, to relish in their beauty and I feel on top of the world.
We walk until we can no longer make out the street signs, the shapes, the colors. Until day gives way to darkness & every light flickers on. Inside their cozy houses, everyone settles in for American Idol or a movie or goodnight. We walk until we reach home again. Until the sky is black & the world is silent.
Until we are invisible. Except to each other.
Race home to start dinner. Hope for the best. Pull out the carrots, squash, broccoli, red pepper, cream, cheese, pasta. Chop, chop, chop, boil, plop, stir, season, simmer. The kitchen is thick with steam.
G & J bubba go for a run. Toby cries by the door the whole time they are gone. I give him a jerky, nothing. I try to play fetch, nothing. I fill a toy with peanut butter…nothing. He sits by the door and waits and cries. Every now and then, he gets up to search the house. He finds nothing and returns to wait. I think it’s sweet.
The boys return. I’m just finishing. G takes a shower. I wash the strawberries. G gets dressed. I set the table.
Dinner's Served.
The food tastes like it’s supposed to and I’m relieved. We eat slowly…letting the time pass. The dogs cuddle up on the rug, bathed in sunshine and close their eyes…content now that they are together. The sunlight fades, reflecting oranges and yellows and reds across the hardwood floor. G sits across the table & talks.
Soon, the dishes are loaded & the counters are wiped. We venture back out for a walk. A sweatshirt & a coat…both hoods on. It’s still cold. The dogs with their harness and a leash. I hold G’s hand and then shove ours into his coat pocket. We trade off holding the leash. Because his fingers are always cold. And mine never are.
We walk up & down, back & forth, past houses and buildings, and parked cars. Walk slowly down the middle of the road. Because some streets don’t have sidewalks & no one else is out tonight. The dogs lead the way…strolling side by side. The light fades and fades and fades, but lingers. Coloring the sky purple.
We end up at the park. Take the dogs off their leash. The gate clicks closed behind us and they disappear. Off in the distance they are running and pouncing and chasing. I have to squint to see them...to find them in the hazy light. We wander through the playground, across the monkey bars, down the slide. It’s getting darker now, the day slipping away. I can hear the dogs chasing and moving and growling, but I can’t see them anymore.
It’s time to go. We click the leash back on and continue…I’m not ready to leave. The last bit of sunlight evaporates into the sky and night has arrived…blue and brilliant. The city lights twinkle below us, pulsing and dancing. We stop to watch them, to relish in their beauty and I feel on top of the world.
We walk until we can no longer make out the street signs, the shapes, the colors. Until day gives way to darkness & every light flickers on. Inside their cozy houses, everyone settles in for American Idol or a movie or goodnight. We walk until we reach home again. Until the sky is black & the world is silent.
Until we are invisible. Except to each other.
Monday, March 30, 2009
i forgot i was supposed to feed him.
i've fallen off the wagon a bit when it comes to cooking. i don't know what happened, but somewhere in between gmat prep courses at night & our little break from reality, i stopped cooking anything besides spaghetti & grilled ham & cheese sandwiches.
my husband tries not to complain too much, but our friends invited us to a delicious lunch on saturday and i could almost see the tears of joy in g's eyes. before we left, he thanked mckenzie again & claimed that he "would have starved if it hadn't been for her."
unfortunately, it might have been true.
if the way to a man's heart is through his belly, then i am in deep trouble. this week, i will be attempting to weasel my way back in. so, in case you care, here's what i'm attempting. i've either made or tasted everything & it's all delicious. let's just hope i can remember how to turn on my oven.
monday: seasoned salmon, roasted asparagus, wild rice
tuesday: pasta primavera (this is maybe my favorite recipe ever) crusty bread, fruit
wednesday: spinach quiche (i'm hoping this one solidifies my spot back in g's heart. he loves this) fruit, orange rolls
thursday: leftovers (we wont be home)
friday: who are we kidding. i do not cook on fridays.
saturday: mckenzie's amazing tomato-basil soup, crusty bread, fruit
wish me luck.
Friday, March 27, 2009
sometimes i think my life isn't very "blog worthy".
the semi-interesting-but-not-really stuff i'm doing this weekend:
- shower with my friends for mb on saturday
- hopefully a temple session
- sunday morning breakfast (a tradition now)
- going out to dinner with g
- a little bit of shopping with my bday gift cards
- birthday dinner on sunday (thanks olsens!)
the not-so-glamorous-but-this-is-real-life stuff:
- hauling all the garbage in the breezeway away
- moving the junk from the office to join the junk in the garage
- attemping to teach my pup, j bubba, not to eat his poop
- or pick up his solid poops and bring them into my home via his dog door (a favorite of his)
- grocery shopping
- figuring out what i want to do with my life because i have to know by march 31
- rearanging more furniture & trying to figure out what the heck to do with my office now (mom...help?)
- cleaning, cleaning & more cleaning (i'm way behind)
happy friday!
i'm off to deal with poop.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
because i love a good referall.
right now, i'm loving...
map lipglass in underage
and diorshow mascara
i'll never go back to my cheap drugstore brand again. a mascara that never flakes off, separates perfectly, and curls & lengthens is well worth a few extra dollars.
try it, mom!
map lipglass in underage
and diorshow mascara
i'll never go back to my cheap drugstore brand again. a mascara that never flakes off, separates perfectly, and curls & lengthens is well worth a few extra dollars.
try it, mom!
Monday, March 23, 2009
i am alive.
Today, I headed back to work after a 5 day hiatus. Yes, people. 5wholedays. It was unreal. G & both took 3 days off work & combined with the usual weekend, we were living in the land of freedom. A land where we slept in every single morning, lazily went to breakfast, strolled through the neighborhood with our dogs (it was Spring last week, remember?) lounged at the park all afternoon, ate out for every meal, stayed up late watching movies and took naps at 3pm. Is that how the rest of you non-workers spend your lives? ;) It was sheer heaven.
Now, it's back to reality & I am counting down the days until my next break (August!). I wish I could be someone who savors the little joys in my day-to-day life at the office. I wish I could tell you that I am excited to go to work every day. I wish I always saw the good, but lately I am not that person. Sometimes, I am good about savoring the NOW...sometimes I suck at it. Right now, I suck at it.
Either way, it was a much-needed, wonderful break. We went a 3-D show at the Clark Planetarium (we were the only ones there over the age of 12), saw a few movies (G MAYBE watched Twilight with me...maybe), baked a huge birthday cake & then devoured it with friends & family, went to the zoo, shopped a little bit (or at least strolled through Gateway enjoying 70 degree weather) explored our neighborhood (finally) and tried all the little cafe's & dives I have been eyeing since we moved here. And let's face it, since eating out is basically my life's passion, I was a happy camper. And I maybe never cooked once...maybe.
Speaking of my birthday, I owe everyone a huge thank you! Thank you so much to everyone who called, emailed, sent a text message, stopped by, left me a message, facebooked me(is that a word?!), baked me brownies, mailed me cards, gave me presents, etc, etc, etc. I love you! I seriously think the best part about a birthday is how loved you feel by everyone..that and the 3 tiered chocolate fudge cake.
And about that traditional chocolate cake...G made mine this year. On the same day he cooked me german pancakes for breakfast, ran all my errands while I got a pedicure with my Mom & presented me with a list of 22 reasons he loves me. And yes, I realize I shouldn't brag too much about my husband, but he deserves it. My Grandma says I hit the jackpot. I agree.
Now, it's back to reality & I am counting down the days until my next break (August!). I wish I could be someone who savors the little joys in my day-to-day life at the office. I wish I could tell you that I am excited to go to work every day. I wish I always saw the good, but lately I am not that person. Sometimes, I am good about savoring the NOW...sometimes I suck at it. Right now, I suck at it.
Either way, it was a much-needed, wonderful break. We went a 3-D show at the Clark Planetarium (we were the only ones there over the age of 12), saw a few movies (G MAYBE watched Twilight with me...maybe), baked a huge birthday cake & then devoured it with friends & family, went to the zoo, shopped a little bit (or at least strolled through Gateway enjoying 70 degree weather) explored our neighborhood (finally) and tried all the little cafe's & dives I have been eyeing since we moved here. And let's face it, since eating out is basically my life's passion, I was a happy camper. And I maybe never cooked once...maybe.
Speaking of my birthday, I owe everyone a huge thank you! Thank you so much to everyone who called, emailed, sent a text message, stopped by, left me a message, facebooked me(is that a word?!), baked me brownies, mailed me cards, gave me presents, etc, etc, etc. I love you! I seriously think the best part about a birthday is how loved you feel by everyone..that and the 3 tiered chocolate fudge cake.
And about that traditional chocolate cake...G made mine this year. On the same day he cooked me german pancakes for breakfast, ran all my errands while I got a pedicure with my Mom & presented me with a list of 22 reasons he loves me. And yes, I realize I shouldn't brag too much about my husband, but he deserves it. My Grandma says I hit the jackpot. I agree.
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