in case you thought i was a good person.

Today, after a series of circumstances that left my face flushed & my hands shaking, I literally had to get up & leave my desk for about 5 minutes to catch my breath & calm myself down. This has never happened to me before and it wasn't any one's else's fault. It was mine. All of the stress & all of the annoyance was because of me, because I let myself get annoyed. I let myself get flustered.

All of it was caused by the fact that I have NO patience.

Patience. The number one thing on my list of qualities I don't posses & wish I did. I can't figure out why I can't cultivate this trait. I can't figure out why I have so little of it. I want results. Immediately. I want everything done NOW, not later. I want you to immediately know what I mean after I explain it once, not twice. Give me that jar because I can open it quicker, that broom, because I can sweep it up faster. I end up doing everything, because I am too impatient to let someone else do it for me. Too impatient to delegate. Everyone else takes too long.

Why am I like this???

Sometimes, G & I will be talking about different activities and he will say, "You would hate this because it takes too long" or "Jess, you really don't have the patience to do it". And he is always right.

And by the way, how ironic is it that I married a man with miles & miles of patience? He can paint a wall & do it right, start to finish, even if it takes 47 hours. He can sit in the back yard for 20 minutes & watch the pups "sit & stay". For 20 minutes, people!! Just stand there & watch them...making sure they don't move a tiny muscle. My limit is 5 minutes. I can watch them stay for 5 minutes and then I am out of there. I can answer one question & then I am slitting my wrists, repeat myself once before I am banging my head against my desk.

I guess that just comes with the territory of marrying your polar opposite. G is everything I am not. He is every good quality I don't posses. Every subject I don't understand. Every song I don't know. And I always knew that about him, too. I think that's why I fell in love with him so quickly. I recognized that here was this person who represents everything I wish I were better at. Who fills in all the holes I can't fill in myself.

I wish I were more like my husband.

I wish I wasn't in such a hurry. I wish I didn't expect so much from myself & from others. I wish I could answer 8 million questions in a row without rolling my eyes or running out the door & straight into on-coming traffic.

Patience.

Does anyone have some they can spare?

my marriage is 2.

this was us on our wedding day, two years ago.

Today we have been married for 2 years & what a wonderful 2 years it has been. I have been looking forward to this anniversary for months, seriously MONTHS now because it means a whole weekend of just G & I. No distractions, no yard work, no obligations, no stress. And a weekend of G is what I got. Besides showing our home to potential renters for a bit on Saturday, we did nothing but spend time together. This year it was Greg's job to plan the Anniversary and seriously, the guy impressed me. Greg always insists that he "doesn't know what to do for these events" & that he isn't smooth enough to pull them off, but when push comes to shove, he always succeeds with flying colors.

Our weekend included:

Dinner at a fancy restaurant with a to-die-for halibut for me & steak for G.
A walk around downtown SLC & the Temple grounds
A movie I've been dying to see for months
A night in a hotel
A picnic at the park with the pups & letting them swim in the stream
Yummy Greek takeout
Exchanging of gifts (I've been DYING to give mine to him)
Finally getting to the Presidential debates
A banana split before bed
Sparkling cider & toasts
Lots & lots & lots of time with my favorite person.

Well done, G. Seriously, WELL DONE.

Today's festivities include church & then we are off to my parent's house to make homemade pizza for the mother-less brothers & a 3 tiered raspberry fudge cake I haven't attempted since G's birthday. Wish me luck.

Happy Anniversary to my G. You keep me on my toes, you make me laugh, you teach me something new almost every day, you help me grow, you make me want to be better, you understand me and you make me so happy.

I love you, G, you are my best friend.

Ps...check out his gift to me. Holy cow, babe, nice choice!

and last, but not least...

it is JON'S birthday today!

yay jonny!

Jon, I am not sure you want a drawn out letter from me, because you already know that you are one of my best friends in the world. You are hilarious and I am so glad we are so close, because you make me laugh harder than anyone else. Happy Birthday to a brother! Blow out the candles, do a little dance, be a friend.

You are the best & I love you!

Love,

Sicca, Belly, Sissisa.

(Whew! And that marks the end of BIRTHDAY WEEK! See you again next year!)

the party continues....

Yes! Yes! It is true. We are celebrating ANOTHER birthday today

(and there is even one more tomorrow)!

Get excited.

So, today is a glorious day, because my best friend turns 21 today.

This is her...

(isn't she gorgeous!?!)

Dear Holls,

Today is your 21st! Happy Birthday to you! I seriously remember a time when I never thought you & I would ever both be legal. And now, here it is! ;)

21 yrs old for you also means over 13 years of friendship for you & I. And what a FUN 13 years we have had. When I look back, I can't believe some of the things we have done together & gone through together. From fights, heartache, triumph, firsts & lasts- you have truly ALWAYS been by my side. Our memories are the ones that I cherish the most...

Driving past "so & so's" house 10 million times with our hoodies on, toliet papering with katie & getting caught by the cops. Taking our drives with just the two of us & blasting Michelle Branch CD's. Sneaking out & sneaking in. Driving past your house every day & walking to it before we could drive. Giggling in church & passing notes in Sacrament. Meeting you at the corner by the Cameron's house so you wouldnt get "kidnapped". Making music videos in your basement & in mine. EFY. Watching you preform at school, at church, in Provo & writing a song together. St. George every spring & laughing until we cried. Sleeping on your tramp in the backyard & almost getting killed. Getting ready in your basement & chats with your parents in the kitchen. Driving to school together everyday. Me making you wear your coat & you forcing Christmas music on me in September. Your first kiss & my first big breakup. Driving to graduation together. Senior trip to Mexico & dancing the night away. Late nights in Logan & being superhero's on Halloween. Watching each other fall in love. Writing emails from SLC to Equador and cheering eachother on. Helping you choose your wedding ring & watching you be sealed. Being a bridesmaid at your wedding & having you as mine. Being able to talk to you about anything, trust you with everything & count on you always.

Our memories are priceless to me & there are so many to choose from. I couldn't have asked for a better sidekick than you, Holls. I couldn't have asked for a better best friend. You have made me laugh & made me want to be better person the whole way through.

Happy Birthday! I love you!

Love, J.

birthday boy.

Today is my oldest brother, Ryan's birthday! Woo hoo for him!!

On Monday night, we headed up to the Smith's cabin for a surprise party Christy threw for Ryan & she did a great job! Even though Gregory & I completely missed the surprise (we got stuck up the road helping an older gentlemen...figures) I am sure he was shocked! We had so much fun swinging on the rope swing, playing around the world ping pong & kissing all the delicious babies. (pictures coming soon)

Mostly, I want my oldest brother, Ryan, to know how much I love him. He is a great brother who has always been there to cheer me on & support me. He is an amazing person & an even better friend. I love that he loves all itos (doritos, fritos, burritos), that he is an outdoorsman who knows the best places to rock climb, that he wears socks, a hoodie & sweats to bed & freezes his butt off, but doesn't mind as long as his wife is comfortable (lol Christy). I love that he is a family man who always puts his wife & daughter first. Christy & Kate were out of town last week & when I visited Ry at work he couldn't stop talking about how much he missed them. I love that he knows everything about computers & technology & is always willing to fix, install or program anything you need him to. I love that I can always count on him when I need to. He wrote my first resume for me & he helped me register for my first semester of college. He has been there during every major event I've ever gone through & I can't thank him enough for being such a great bro.

Happy Birthday Ry!

I love you!

r.i.p.

Here lies the remains of the very last square shaped glass I owned.

Once upon a time, G & I had a wedding and at this wedding, a kind friend gave me a whole set of these glasses as a gift. 12 in a box, I believe, and I loved them oh so much.

Since then, all 12 of the glasses have died horrible deaths. Some dropped hard against our tile floor; some against the sink; a few in the dishwasher. All have been shattered into tiny pieces by me- None by G.

This goes without saying...I am the ultimate klutz.

And if you are thinking to yourself that a couple of glasses from Target are no big deal, let me please mention that I once dropped the glass lid to a deep Calphalon skillet G's parents gave him when he moved out of their home. It shattered into 29 million pieces & my husband practically shed real tears as I swept all that glass up. I break big stuff, too.

When I was still living at my parent's home and constantly falling down the stairs, dropping a dish, breaking a glass or running into a wall (yes RUNNING INTO A WALL) my dad always said the same thing to me...

"Jess.....SLOW...... DOWN."

And as I tried to cook dinner, talk on the phone, empty the dishwasher & play fetch with Jack all at the same time today I realized he is right. My klutziness is a direct result of the fact that I am ALWAYS in a hurry. I am constantly rushing, racing, moving, thinking, fidgeting, trying to get to the next thing or trying to do 8 things at once.

I don't even know where I am going with this post except to say that I am going to try to slow down from now on. When I confessed to G that I had finally destroyed our last glass he told me that the next cups I buy should probably be "plastic baby cups" because normal people cant destroy 12 glasses that quickly. I am going to buy my plastic cups & I am going to try to cultivate more patience while I'm at it.

Who knows...maybe someday I can even get to the point in my life where I will be big enough to own glass cups again.

Until then, here's a sippy cup.

oops.

date: 9.15.08

time: 7:45 pm.
location: kitchen
perpetrator: jessica olsen
crime: baking delicious chocolate chippers
for the first time in: at least 8 months.

I caved. So sue me.

(ps...they are delicious)

in case you need proof.

that baby kate really did poop ALL OVER ME.

you can see the pictures here.

(however please keep in mind that the photos do not do it justice)

the dumbest post i have written thus far.

I have another confession to make (I say “another” because once upon a time I confessed that I was addicted to sugar. I have since ALMOST overcome that addiction, just FYI).

Anyways, back to my confession….I am DEATHLY afraid of whales.

I had to call G at work today to tell him about this nightmare I had last night that literally left me sweating/crying in my sleep. I dreamt him & I were on a rowboat in the ocean & somehow I fell out of the boat (first of all, a ROWBOAT in the OCEAN?). Anyways, I fell out & immediately starting flipping out because I didn’t want to get eaten by a whale. Well in my dream, G was annoyed with me that I was so afraid of them (kind of similar to the way he feels about this completely irrational fear in real life) so he made me stay in the water. He continued rowing along & I was forced to hold on to the back of the row boat and let him drag me behind the boat in the water. Sure enough, the next thing I knew a whale swam up beside me (this is so pathetic, but I still get nervous thinking about that whale from my dream, oh my gosh, I was horrified). Anyways, the whale swam up & I yelled for G to pull me back into the boat, but he wouldn’t because he wanted me to get over the fear. I told him that I was sure the whale was going to eat me & he better pull me in, but again, he refused. Well, can you guess what happened? Yup, the whale opened up & swallowed me whole. (and then G captured the huge creature, pulled him onto the shore, cut open his belly & freed me! But, that's besides the point--I totally got EATEN!!) Anyways, it was awful! I was telling a friend at work about this today & she just laughed and laughed because we all know that whales don’t eat people (they don't even eat fish!) and they are seriously not threatening at all, but for some reason, I just am so afraid of them.

This is seriously a pointless post, but I am going to email my dream to “Lori from the dream zone” (from ZHT, anyone? anyone?) and see what she has to say about it. She’ll probably say something stupid & obvious like , “Do you feel like something is eating away at you in waking life?" (lol, Kiersti), but nonetheless, I want to see what she says. If anyone has any insight into my dream feel free to share. I seriously can't believe I just wrote that whole thing out, I need to get some hobbies.

The End.

i love M.

Little Makayla Marie gave me a present yesterday!
3 Halloween magnets that she made "all by herself".
Here they are on my fridge & they look so cute.
Thanks Goober (and Jennie!), I love you!