No time to blog.

I've been needing to do a new post for a while, and I have been sitting here trying to think of something to write, but my mind is so full of to-do lists that I can't begin to start. I could tell you about Lagoon this weekend & the couple that was so perfectly 'in love' they willingly picked each other's zits and then examined the precious puss as they stood in front of us in line (True Story). Or perhaps I could talk about The Melting Pot with my cute sister in laws and The Best Dessert I have Ever Experienced In. My. Life.

Or maybe I could mention the Jamba Juice laced with what should be illegal amounts of caffeine (I didn't know, I swear) that I drank for breakfast today and how I literally paced back & forth at work in front of the chips & salsa I was guarding, mumbling too quickly for anyone to understand & repeatedly asking Monica if it would be okay for me to cartwheel down the hall. I didn't, just in case my boss is wondering (Hi Steph!).

Lately, my life has felt like a non-stop party. Except it's a party that I am planning, and hosting. And it's at my house, so it needs to be clean. Oh, and also, I am baking 5 million bite sized blueberries pies for the guests. And I have to roll the tiny dough by hand with a teeny tiny rolling pin and then do that criss-cross weaving pattern my Grandma once taught me. And I've never made a blueberry pie in my life (true story), so inevitably I keep screwing them up. Does that make sense?

I didn't think so.

Every night as G & I try to squeeze in 20 minutes of quality time together we say the same thing, "How come there are 5 million things to do every day and only 5 minutes to get everything done?" (Seriously, he feels this way, too. I am not over-reacting, I'm not, I am NOT) Does everybody feel that way? Is there some sort of secret recipe to balancing being a wife, a homemaker, a cleaning lady, a good employee, a friend, a home owner, a sister, a daughter and a Primary worker? I can only imagine how all you Mom's feel. Hats off to you. I can't even begin to imagine adding "Mother" to the list.

I am sure I am not the only one who feels stretched too thin. I am sure all of you are muttering to yourselves, "what is she talking about...if she only knew!" right about now. And you should. What I need is a good swift kick in the pants. Feel free to give it to me next time I see you.

But, then again, maybe that's the point. Maybe we are supposed to learn that perfection is impossible and sometimes you just have to let some things slip threw the cracks. Like some days, I simply don't have time to make my bed before I go to work, and although it pains me (severely) to let that slide, maybe I could accept the fact that my house can't always be spotless if I am going to make time for all of the people in my life who are more important than my bed sheets could ever be.

Maybe that's what we are supposed to learn? To let the house stay dirty and go for a walk with your hubby instead. Or to overlook the to-do list and go play fetch with the dogs. Or to stop stressing about your un-made bed at home, or your messy yard and relish in the fact that tomorrow is a new day and sometimes the pies can just wait. Seriously, the pies will just have to

WAIT.

A peek inside...

My fridge.

I know, I know...You are all just DYING to see what's in there.

But, cute Chels tagged me & I'm definitely in. For some reason, this fridge tag totally intrigues me. I think it might be because I'm generally a very nosey person. If I could have one superpower it would definitely be to be invisible, so I could spy on all of my neighbors. I mean, c'mon, wouldn't that be the greatest?


Back to my fridge. Here it is.

A professor in my health class once taught us to keep everything you want to be eating on a regular basis on your top shelf, (or, at eye level-for me that's my top shelf) so that you see it more often and everything that you shouldn't eat as much on the bottom shelf, or even in the drawers. I have done that ever since she suggested it & it totally works for me. I keep all of my fruit washed and ready to go in a big bowl right on top, because I find that if I shove it away in a drawer, I forget it's there. And that's my healthy tip of the day! Moving right along...

So, in my fridge you will find: a bowl of oranges, pears & apricots, skim milk, chocolate soy (hey, chels, twinners!) v8 splash, grapes, yogurt & cottage cheese, strawberries, raspberries, a salad mix, veggies (cauliflower & broccoli)-This is the top shelf, you see, uber healthy. Down one step: Eggs, yogurt, bread, sugar-free pudding and string cheese. Now here's the fun part, the bottom shelf, get ready to gag. ground beef (although I seriously can't eat the stuff anymore after watching this video *warning: do not watch if you ever want to be able to eat a burger without wanting to cry & or puke again*) garlic hummus (mmmmmmmmm), mayo and homemade queso(hey, at least it's homemade! I heart queso).

In other news, guess what I did immediately after work today? Just guess.

No guesses?

Well, I'll tell you then. I dragged (literally, dragged) my cute little hubby to my Grandma's pool! We had so much fun doing flips and dunking each other, just the two of us. I figure just because we work full time, doesn't mean we have to miss out on summer! I am thinking about making this a regular thing, so if anyone ever wants to join me around 5 (when it is beautiful & perfect) please do! Her pool is kept at an amazing 80 degrees or so. Lovely.

Happy summer.

Ps...I tag anyone who wants to!

What the wedding?

In a crazy turn of events last week, the receptionist at our office won this contest on Tuesday because of this. The prize was a 'dream' wedding at Nightmare on 13th (yes, the Haunted House) on Friday, the 13th of June (get it?)...No? Click here to read more about it.

Monica & I decided to slip away to see the crazy event go down. And, here are some of the things we did

Fell in love with the monsters.

Got taken away by a gargoyle. (yes, that is what is happening! you can't tell?!)

stood next to this really tall thing.

touched this man. (not by choice)

and his greasy stash. (DEFINITELY not by choice) brought a date.and finally, said, "I do".

and this is what monica did to the picture to get rid of my crazy eyes & large zit. thanks, girl.

congrats, amber!

we hope your string of bad luck ends here!

love to all my guys.

happy fathers day

to the dad who will someday be...

and the dad who will be soon. (in august)

and to one of the most amazing dads i know.

to g's dad, who taught him to be a kind, honest, good person

and to mine, who did the same.

thanks for all you do.

true story.

Today, during my lunch break, I drove to the nearest Wells Fargo and waited in line for 20 minutes to deposit my paycheck. This would be fine, except that

I BANK AT ZIONS!!!!!

I think I might have too much on my plate these days! I'm officially losing it.

This is for you, Steph!

One of my best friends in the whole wide world, the beautiful & talented Steph is currently living out all of our fantasies in sunny southern California with her darling husband and the cutest pregnant belly you've ever seen. I think of her anytime the temperature in Utah drops below 75 degrees, which, let's face it, is almost every single day. I am beyond envious of the fact that she is spending 4 whole months in my favorite place in the whole world. No fair.

G & I will be visiting the happy fam in August, but until then, I like to interrupt her with texts, emails and phone calls, just so she doesn't forget about her little JMO and never come home. I just got off the phone with her where I chatted from the comfort of my desk & she chatted pool-side. Since she has plenty of time on her hands these days, she asked me for some suggestions of books to read while she enjoys The Greatest Summer Imaginable and I am happy to oblige. There is absolutely nothing better than a day spent reading by the pool. Oh Steph, if only all of us could be so lucky!

So, I give you..."Jess' list of all of the books she would devour if she were lucky enough to be unemployed this summer and had nothing to do but lay by the pool and get tan, like lucky little Stephanie"

whew. That was a mouthful.

The Pact by Jodi Picoult

Jodi Picoult is one of my favorite Authors. I tend to like everything she writes. This one, especially, is a page-turner! Don't start it unless you have 3 days to sit and do nothing but read.

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

This is sitting on my night stand waiting for me to find some stinkin time. Haven't read it, yet (I know, I know), but I hear it's amazing.

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gibert

I have heard great things about this one, too.

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

This book is unbelievable...such an amazing story. Jeanette Walls is super talented, another great book of her's: My Sister's Keeper.

Escape by Carolyn Jessop

My current read. The writing is alright, not my favorite, but the story is fascinating. You wont be able to put it down.

Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult

Like I said, she is an amazing Author. I LOVE this book!

The 5 love languages by Gary Chapman.

Haven't read this yet, but I have been wanting to find the time for months now.

So there you go, Steph. My list of summer bliss. I expect all of these to be finished by the time I see you in August! Miss you.

xoxo,

jmo.

feel free to add your favorite to this list, as well!

human tetris.

Pancakes around the world!

+

=(pure joy. pure, pure, joy.)

I have a slight obsession with pancakes. Mostly because they are full of sugar and topped with sugar. And sugar makes me happy. I love cooking brunch on Sunday morning and over the past couple weeks, I have been trying out some new pancake recipes from all over the world. Because I want everyone to join in the fun, I've decided to share my pancake adventure with you lovely bloggers. So today I bring you:

German Pancakes, aka: Monsters, aka: I'm one quarter German!

You will need:

• 6 eggs
• 1 cup flour
• 1 cup milk
• 4 Tbs. butter (and use butter, please. I made them with margarine once & smart butter once, and both times, the texture was off. You can run them off tomorrow!)
  

Pre-heat oven to 425. Melt butter and mix all ingredients together in blender. Whip well. Pour batter into well-greased 9x13 pan. Bake for 15-20 minutes until golden brown.

I love to cover mine with bananas, maple syrup & powdered sugar. G prefers fresh berries & whipped cream. Either way, they are heavenly. And not to mention, the easiest pancake recipe I have found thus far.

Enjoy!

Coming up next: Norwegian Pancakes, aka: I married a Norwegian boy once.

More words.

Today, my head swelled to the size of beach ball. And, believe it or not, it wasn't because of all the kind, thoughtful and encouraging comments all of you guys left me. Earlier this afternoon, a burning pressure began to build behind my eyes and then exploded into my brain, which left me so delirious, that by 4:00 someone dared to call me "Jessie" and I actually responded. Note to the universe: I HATE the name Jessie (unless I'm in 3rd grade-hi Mezz!)

I got home from work and immediately tried to go back to sleep. But, this funny thing always happens when I try to get some rest, MTV swoops in and decides to air some re-runs of "The Real World" or "America's Next Top Model" and I sit, mesmerized in front of the TV with blood-shot eyes and and a brain full of helium. Today, it was "Legally Blonde-The search for the next Elle Woods" that sucked me in. And the funny thing was, I didn't. Even. Like it.

So here I am, back at my computer. The same place I spent the last 9 mind-numbing hours. If I'm still alive by tomorrow, we will chalk it up to the 4 Ibuprofen & decongestants G lovingly fed me. That's right, people, you heard correctly. It takes 4 Ibuprofen (and sometimes an Excedrin Migraine). My Dad gave me his insomnia and my Mom gave me her migraines. Not a good combination, if I do say so myself. I forgive them, though, because they are the kind of people who will willingly spend their evening helping me plant flowers in the rain.

First of all, the comments. Let's talk about the comments, shall we? All I can say is thank you, thank you and THANK YOU for all of the encouragement and support all of you give me on a daily basis. Writing is something that eases my worries, feeds my soul and lifts my spirits. To know that someone, anyone, is actually ENJOYING what I am writing (especially when I choose to write pointless anecdotes) is heart-warming, to say the least. Thank you for reading and thank you for giving me a platform to ramble from. Up to this point, mostly everything I have written has been sarcastic, but I whole heartily look forward to the day when I can post something from a poetry journal and not immediately want to bury myself alive afterwards. I hope that someday I have the courage to do so.

Anyone who knows me, knows I am a lyric junkie. I memorize the lyrics to a song almost instantly and I repeat them back to myself often. One of my favorite songs, "Breathe" by Anna Nalick, says the following:

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, its no longer
inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to

That song perfectly captures how I feel about writing.

Words, happy or sad; sarcastic or serious, sit like boulders in my gut. I pile them in one by one until my entire body aches with the load of them. Eventually, I have no choice but to open my mouth wide and spit them out, simply because I can't bear to carry the load any longer.

I love being able to spit them out here. Words connect us to each other in a way that nothing else can and I love that I can read your words and be reminded of my own. I love that I am not the only one who feels ridiculous sometimes, or boring and insignificant. I love that I am not the only one who feels lucky, or undeserving, or hopeful for the future. And I love that I am not the only one who feels the delirious overtaking of love, the aching pain of loss or the tingling joy of tomorrow.

So, thank you. Because your words mean something to me, too.


PS. The tree is named Petey.

You know you're aren't 20 anymore when you...

1)Get really, really, really, excited about a new vacuum cleaner. I mean, like, REALLY excited. And you leave it in your living room and do nothing but vacuum for 2 days straight. And you kind of want to call your friends and be like, "Hey! Guess what! We got this new vacuum and it never loses suction!", but then you realize that your friends are more interested in things like spring break & dancing on tables, and that they probably couldn't care less about your new vacuum cleaner, so you decide to blog about it instead. This is what my new vacuum cleaner looks like...And he NEVER looses suction. And I really wanted to name him Sammy Sosa, but then G said that normal 21 yr. old's don't name their vacuums. The home-run-hitter came in handy on Thursday when my sweet little fur-children decided to drag an ENTIRE TREE into my living room through their doggy door and rip it to shreds as a welcome home present for me. They placed the dirt and stick and rocks (Yes, i said ROCKS) all over the place just to show their love. And when I walked through the door, there they were covered in mud and proud as could be of their accomplishment. I wanted to laugh. And then cry. And then kill myself. But, I ended up sweeping, vacuuming and mopping instead. And then wishing I had taken a picture of the whole mess. It was pretty horrible. But, kind of funny, too. But, mostly really horrible.

2) You get really excited about all these new plants you bought for your yard. And you decide to ditch all of your really cool plans to stay home and look at your new plants. And you go out and buy yourself little gardening gloves and a tiny shovel to help your husband with the new plants. And you think about suggesting that we name all of the plants before we plant them, because wouldn't that be so awesome, but then you realize that was probably the stupidest thing you have ever said.

3) A kind friend gives you 100 dollars as a Thank-you gift and you decide to use it to buy a tree, instead of a new pair of jeans. A miniature Japanese maple something or other, to be exact. And you are so excited to see it planted that you make husband do it as soon as you get home, even though it's already dark. And you take a picture of your husband putting it in the ground. And then you realize that you are taking a picture of your husband planting a tree in the dark and you hope none of the neighbors see.4) And you suggest that we name the tree, and husband actually complies, because he, too, has lost his mind, And so the tree gets a name.

4) Speaking of pictures, you know you aren't 20 anymore when you take a picture of your husband installing a dog door.5) And then, you find yourself actually speaking the words, "That dog door changed my life". Out-loud. To actual people. Who aren't related to you by blood.

6) You know you aren't 20 anymore when your Mom asks you to babysit her dog while she goes away for a wild, adventurous weekend. And you sit at home all weekend and feed her dog her eye and thyroid pills.7) And then you fall asleep with her dog before 9 pm.That, my friends, is how you know you aren't 20 anymore. And you have, in fact, graduated to the ripe old age of 21.