the smellies.

These past few weeks I have had the extreme pleasure of going to see a few, ahem (4), movies. Fabulous. Amazing. Delightful. There is nothing better than going to a movie. And, I maybe saw Twilight twice (and almost a 3rd time) but that's a different story.

Moving right along.

Assigned seating at the movie theater is the worst, and I will tell you why. Flash back to the Thursday Twilight came out. It was a glorious evening. Excitement in the air, vampires on the mind. Holls picked me up promptly at 11 & we were off to the theater. After braving the crowds, prom dresses, and crazies, we settled into our seats, expecting nothing but hot vampire lust (or something like that).

AND THEN.

We smelled it.

We smelled the smell. And I mean the smell. The worst smell I have ever smelled. A strange mixture of booze, body oder & something rotting to death. I can't even begin to describe what the stench did to my stomach (or Holley's), but it was enough to make us both lift our jackets up over our mouths & noses and keep them there for the rest of the movie (impolite as it might have been). The movie was good (did I mention that?), Edward was steamy (or that?), but mostly what I remember was the smell of whoever that smelly person was. I think she might have been sitting beside me, or in front, you never can tell. But, being forced to sit next to the smellies is just one reason assigned seating at the theater sucks.

Flash forward to this weekend. It's Saturday night & I am like a 10th grader waiting to be picked up for her first prom. GJO is taking me on a date tonight. I full-fledged date, with dinner & a movie & a whole evening alone. This hasn't happened for months now due to packing, and moving, and remodeling our new place, and packing and moving & etc, etc, etc. We've been busy. But tonight, tonight GJO is taking me on a date. Get excited.

He picks me up (looking especially hot) and we are off. Dinner is fabulous and the company is splendid. After enjoying our pasta, we head to the movie theater to see James Bond (and not Twilight, despite my pleading). Once again, for this movie we have (dun, dun, dun)

Assigned seating.

G & I grab our seats fairly early & settle in. I am eyeing the door knowingly waiting to see who my arm rest buddy is going to be. He or she will decide the fate of this movie, so I am understandably nervous. A few minutes later a crowd of gentlemen walk in (I use the term 'gentlemen' loosely here) and I am hoping and praying none of them are going to be my arm rest buddy. But alas, I get a real winner.

I tried not to be judgemental. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he was everything he looked like he would be. And I believe he was wearing one of those t-shirts with the sleeves cut off, so you can imagine what he looked like he would be.

To make a long story short, arm rest buddy was beyond gross and I spent the entire movie shoved up as close to my husband as humanly possible while arm rest buddy scratched his armpits (multiple times), picked his face, cracked his elbows & fingers (ah!!), laughed loudly & sloppily, covered me with his stench, stole the entire arm rest and put his hand up his shirt multiple times to scratch his armpits & then sniff his fingers.

Yes.

Moral of the story: assigned seating sucks. And yes, sometimes you end up sitting on the 3rd row, but at least you don't have to sit next to the smellies.