Wednesday, December 8, 2010

let it go, let it go, let it go.

yes, you read that correctly.

right now, i'm desperately trying to let. it. go.

that might even become my theme song this month.

there are about a million things i need to do and want to do and can't do, because of this pregnancy. baby is still doing fine, but i have been instructed to lay around for most of the day and allow my body to focus on nothing other than taking care of her. which is fine, really, except it's december and there are presents to buy and wrap, cards to write, neighbor gifts to bake, a house to clean and clean and clean again and not to mention a completely empty nursery looming down the hallway that may very well be greeting a new special visitor in, oh, one month or so.

yesterday my doctor told me that he will likely want to induce me around 36 weeks (and let's all hope not a day sooner than that). when he first said it i was so excited until i really started to wrap my brain around what that meant. 36 weeks as in 5 weeks from now? as in just a few weeks after christmas? as in right when most of my baby showers are scheduled?

i came home from the appointment and tried to put on a brave face for g and then walked into her nursery and burst into tears. i don't know how to explain the meltdown i had except to say that i'd had 3 doctors appointments that day and my house wasn't/isn't clean and i am officially pregnant. (is that a good enough exuse?)

there is nothing i would like more right now than to deep-clean every inch of this place and organize my linen closet and then go out and buy her crib and curtains and start decorating, but i can't. so her room will most likely be a bit plain, and even though it is going to kill me, she might come home to a less-than-sterile home and i am going to have to let g do the christmas shopping this year (i apologize in advance to all family members), because i simply have to let it all go.

perhaps this is my first lesson in motherhood??

13 comments:

  1. oh you cute thing.
    this is totally your first (and not last) lesson in motherhood. there are so many things that i have had to learn to "let go." simply because there are more important things (ie owen) that need my attention first.
    owen came super early, week 34 - and i wasn't super ready, but it all worked out in the end!!
    hang in there!!! i promise it will be worth i when you are holding your sweet little babe in your arms!
    xoxo

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  2. Can I ask why your doctor says he has to induce at 36 weeks?

    Wow it's exciting to think about having your little girl in your arms so soon but it is a busy time of the year. Just do what you can and enjoy slowing down--baby won't know if the nursery is plain, you can always finish it after she's arrived. :) You'll just have to rely on your husband to do a bit more this Christmas!

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  3. dont worry it will be ok if your house is not completely spotless. little lady will love it just the same. i had the same thing happen- only i was 36 weeks and i hadnt vacuumed that week yet- went to my regular check up and i was sent to labor and delivery. i immediately burst into tears saying- "im not ready! my house hasnt been vacuumed! i havent cleaned my baseboards yet!" but, baby g came- and he didnt even notice :)to tell ya the truth - by the time we got home- i had forgotten that i didnt do those silly things.

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  4. Poor girl! I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time :( But once that little girl is out and you can hold and love her, you won't even remember these times! Cross my heart.
    The instinct to sanitize every square inch of your house is so strong when you're pregnant. It would drive me crazy when I couldn't do anything near the end, my blood pressure would shoot up with any strain and I would feel so frustrated.
    Hang in there!
    xoxo

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  5. I'm so sorry! I completely understand - when I was prego with Mya I had weekly meltdowns about my baby coming home to a pack n play at the foot of our bed in my MIL's basement. Our lives (and ALL of the baby clothes) in boxes.
    So to tell youself to let it go is the right thing. The BEST thing. And you are already a fabulous mom for realizing that you need to do that. And I am going to volunteer my own elbow grease and my "secret" Christmas present of a Shark Van Then Steam at any given time to come and help you make things ready for her. I know you won't ask me, so I'm going to just pick a day when it gets closer and come.
    You are wonderful - and cry as much as you want. Because it's your right :)
    Love you!

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  6. I believe this is called "nesting". Wow! 5 weeks from now is so soon! If you need any help with anything while I'm here, let me know. I would love to help you clean or shop or whatever. Your little girl is going to be happy and very loved, whether she comes home to a nursery that isn't decorated or not. Love you! Hang in there!

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  7. You just call me and I will clean for you. For reals. I just sit at my house and watch Emma play with her toys all day so I may as well do something productive. Call me. Seriously.

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  8. Oh Jess! I just love you! It's such a sweet post because it shows just how much you want everything perfect for everyone. You're right to let it go. She's Christmas.

    Just FYI-Gymboree & Baby Gap have BY FAR the best fitting preemie stuff. Look for the "Up to 7 lbs." tags or tell Greg to.

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  9. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this stress. I'm more than happy to help you with whatever you need done. You can always call me for anything at all. We're here for you and we want you to take it easy.. for you and your sweet babe!

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  10. You're right about a lot of things, and yes it is a good lesson about motherhood too. Sometimes letting things go is so hard, but you have to put wants aside and focus on needs. You're doing a great job, try to enjoy the down-time.

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  11. My Annie is 14 years old now, long before she was due she came and was healthy and fine, when we got her home from the hospital it was to a cradle which stayed in our room for a good 12 weeks, there was all kinds of hammering and racket going on downstairs because the office was what we were currently using the nursery for and I insisted on getting the basement finished before she came (like I said, way too early) Anyway, she has no clue that her homecoming wasn't to the perfectly clean house with the perfectly sane mommy, it was perfect just because she was there. GOOD LUCK! Things will be fine!

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  12. They were going to induce me at 36 weeks and then I ended up being on bed rest and they waited until 37 before my little logen came. I'm sure everything will be fine.

    It's so hard resting and letting things go...when theirs so much that you want to get done but then your baby's here, it all kind of disappears.

    good luck!

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  13. Oh Jess, i can definitely relate. Maybe not on the 5 week schedule relate, but I am still even stressing about the 10 week schedule we are both supposed to be on. I guess we just need to breathe, you mostly and yes let alot of the things we want to do go, cause they probably won't really matter?? That's at least what I am hoping. This is coming from the girl who has yet to even start getting ready. I still haven't registered or bought a single item! And, still haven't posted about it either, although I might tackle that today if I can brave through it! Anyways, hang in there, I think it is just best to enjoy the last minutes of pregnancy and christmas and do your best! IT will be fine & so much fun when the cute girl arrive!

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thank you for your shout outs!