Monday, August 22, 2011
today, i had one of those moments. you and i were in the kitchen eating sweet potatoes and sucking on measuring spoons and singing songs. the sun was shining on the hardwood floor as we listened to adele and slurped veggies from the spoon and smiled at one another. nothing unusual, really, just an afternoon wasting time together, but all of the sudden i found myself so completely filled with happiness it made my eyes well up with tears.
once upon a time, i only dreamed of having you in my life. once upon a time, i took pregnancy test after pregnancy test and continued seeing negatives. once upon a time, i was in the hospital rubbing my basketball of a belly and feeling so unsure about our future together. once upon a time, happiness seemed a bit harder to come by.
but, these days, i am bursting with it. these days it is oozing from my chest and running, sticky and warm, down my arms. these days, i am smacking my lips to make you laugh and picking you up when you reach for me and wondering how i could ever love anything else in the world the way that i love you.
i want so many things for you, evie. i could spend days writing down all my wishes for you and sending them, sealed with a kiss, to the heavens. i don't know what your future will hold. i don't know if your wishes will involve a husband or a career or a blond baby of your own, happy and delicious on your hip. i don't know any of these things, but i do know that regardless of what your wishes might be, i will spend my whole life hoping you find that person or that thing or that moment that fills you with happiness from head to toe, the way that you've filled me.